I was a Stranger
A legal immigrant's struggle: How bureaucratic delays and domestic abuse left one woman trapped in a system that promised opportunity.
“I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home… I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.” — Matthew 25:43, 45
How does it feel to be “the stranger” or “the other” these days? I know some people who are, and I will call them Mary and David.
Mary came to the U.S. legally on a fiancée visa with her 10-year-old son. Soon after they arrived, she married an American citizen who was originally from her home country. Things went relatively smoothly for a few years, but then her husband became abusive. Just as Mary’s work authorization was up for renewal, he contacted Immigration in a way that caused her permit not to be renewed.
She continued working, assuring her employer that her authorization was forthcoming. She earned a very modest salary as a cleaner in a large company. Her husband began demanding that she pay half the rent from her already limited income. He refused to give her money for shoes or clothes for David. Then, out of spite, he told her she could not use either of his two cars to get to work, even while he was out of town driving his truck.
From her apartment, she had to walk nearly an hour to reach the nearest bus stop, then take two buses to get to work. The return journey was the same. She began working 12-hour shifts just to earn enough to cover rent. In the meantime, David was left home alone or with her resentful husband.
When her husband was home, he demanded that she buy and prepare food for him to take on his long-haul trucking routes. He screamed abuse at her, calling her worthless, and even threw her Bible in the trash. He forced her to sleep on the living room sofa and keep her belongings in a suitcase because he did not want to see her or her things. When she tried to leave, he prevented her from doing so and insisted she stay.
By this point, she no longer had a valid work permit and could only continue working because her employer chose not to question it. She was a good employee, and they needed her.
How do I know these things about this family? Because I witnessed them myself. Four months after I met Mary, I invited her and David to live in my home. I was going to be away for 10 weeks, and she would have a safe, rent-free place to stay while she tried to get her affairs in order.
When I returned, her situation was still unresolved, though my house was in excellent condition. For months, I tried to help her find a way forward. We went to the Justice Center, but they were only able to help her obtain an order of protection, which she did not truly need. Her attorney, working pro bono, applied for a Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) visa and a work permit. The application was submitted on September 9, 2024.
Almost immediately, David, then 14 years old, received work authorization. As of today—18 months later—Mary still does not have one. How does that make sense?
They are in this country legally. She is still married to her husband. But without work authorization, it is impossible to:
a) obtain a valid driver’s license,
b) work for most employers, or
c) register a car.
Although she pays for car insurance, if she were involved in an accident, it is unclear whether the insurance would cover anything without a valid license. She cannot travel because she lacks both a valid driver’s license and a visa in her passport. Her son wants to learn to drive, but she cannot teach him for the same reason.
Do you begin to see the conundrum she is facing?
When she contacts Immigration to ask about the status of her application, she is told, “Your case has been transferred to another office, and we have no further information.” No details are provided about where that office is.
In the current climate, she is afraid to travel more than a few miles from her transitional housing due to concerns about ICE. She carries copies of all her paperwork in her car in case she is stopped, but will officers take the time to review them?
She will have to leave her current housing by January 2027 if she does not receive her work authorization. At that point, she may be forced to live in her car with David, who will be 16 years old.
Mary came in good faith and did everything the right way. Yet the system has failed her and her son. She has reached out to politicians for assistance, but if any action was taken, it has not led to results. Without intervention, it could take up to five years for her to receive work authorization.
Could she return to her home country? Possibly—but there is war there, and little opportunity for either her or David.
We pride ourselves on being “the land of opportunity.” But where is the opportunity for Mary?
