A powerful exploration of grief beyond death, revealing how loss manifests in unexpected ways—divorce, identity, separation—and advocating for women's pain to be witnessed and honored rather than silenced.
Influential Woman · Counseling
Ayana Thomas
Founder & Director of Grief-Informed Justice Services, Ayana Thomas Initiative LLC
Brooklyn, NY 11203
6Years experience
1Article published
1Award received
Her Story
About Ayana
My journey into grief work began long before it became my profession. As a teenager, I dreamed of becoming a funeral director and pursued funeral service education. Although life ultimately led me in a different direction, my passion for supporting people through loss never left me.
As a justice-impacted woman, I understand firsthand that grief extends far beyond the death of a loved one. Grief can be the loss of freedom, identity, relationships, opportunities, stability, trust, and a sense of belonging. These are losses that are often overlooked, unrecognized, and unsupported.
Throughout my work in community organizations, correctional settings, courts, and human service systems, I noticed a significant gap: while many services address behavior, housing, employment, and compliance, very few create space for the grief that often exists beneath those challenges. I saw unresolved grief impacting the lives of countless women and families, yet there were few opportunities to acknowledge it, process it, or heal from it.
In response, I developed Ayana's Grief Method™, a grief framework designed to help individuals acknowledge, understand, navigate, and heal from loss in all its forms. Built on the pillars of Acknowledge, Yielding, Articulation, Navigation, and Access, the framework provides practical tools, reflection, accountability, and support while creating space for honest conversations about grief. My approach empowers individuals to move forward with greater self-awareness, resilience, and hope.
My commitment to this work led me to create Grief Behind the Gavel™, an innovative initiative that provides emotional wellness support, grief education, accountability, and healing-centered services to women actively navigating the criminal legal system. Through support from the Center for Justice at Columbia University, I was able to further develop and expand this important work.
Today, I am taking the next step in this mission as the founder of the Ayana Thomas Initiative and Executive Director of the G.R.I.E.F. Initiative (Grief, Resilience, Inspiration, Empowerment & Freedom), a nonprofit organization dedicated to increasing access to grief support, education, and healing services for underserved and justice-impacted communities. My goal is to build sustainable, community-driven pathways to healing that extend beyond traditional systems and reach individuals whose grief has gone unseen for far too long.
I believe grief does not need to be fixed—it needs to be witnessed. Through my work, I am committed to creating spaces where healing, accountability, and transformation can coexist. Because healing is justice too.
Her Interview
Ten minutes with Ayana
01What do you attribute your success to?
I attribute my purpose and passion to my own grief journey. Becoming a widow at 38 and losing my baby sister on my birthday were life-altering losses that changed me forever.
In some of my darkest moments, I needed safety, support, and a space where my grief could be acknowledged without judgment. When I struggled to find that space, I created it.
My grief became my greatest teacher and the foundation of my life's work. It taught me that healing is not about moving on from loss, but learning how to move forward with it. Today, I create spaces where individuals feel seen, heard, supported, and empowered to heal because I understand firsthand what it means to experience profound loss and still find a path toward hope, purpose, and transformation.
02What’s the best career advice you’ve ever received?
Recently, a business development professional shared something that deeply resonated with me. He told me, "What you've created is unique, and it needs to grow beyond you."
That conversation reinforced what I have been feeling for some time. The work I do is bigger than one person. The need for grief education, emotional wellness, and support for justice-impacted individuals is too great to be limited by my individual capacity alone.
It is one of the reasons I have now establishing a nonprofit organization. My vision is to build a sustainable model that expands access to healing, grows the impact of this work, and ensures that more people receive the support they deserve. What began as my personal response to grief is evolving into a movement dedicated to healing, hope, and transformation.
03What advice would you give to young women entering your industry?
My advice to young women entering this field is to never underestimate the power of your lived experience. Your story, your challenges, and even your pain can become some of your greatest strengths when paired with education, integrity, and a genuine desire to serve others.
Lead with compassion, but do not neglect your own healing. You cannot continually pour into others without making space to care for yourself. Stay committed to learning, remain authentic to your mission, and do not be afraid to create what does not yet exist.
Many of the opportunities I have today came from recognizing a gap and having the courage to build something different. If you see a need, trust yourself enough to become part of the solution.
04What are the biggest challenges or opportunities in your field right now?
One of the greatest challenges I face is recognizing that I cannot serve everyone who needs this work. The need is far greater than any one person can meet alone.
Through both my lived experience and professional work, I understand the profound impact that incarceration, court involvement, and systemic barriers have on women and their families. I also understand the absence of grief-centered support within these spaces. While many systems address compliance, housing, employment, and treatment, very few address the layers of grief that often exist beneath the surface.
That reality is what drives me to expand this work. I have seen the need, and I have witnessed the gap. My goal is not only to provide services directly, but to build sustainable programs, partnerships, and systems that ensure more women have access to the healing, emotional support, and grief education they deserve.
05What values are most important to you in your work and personal life?
The values that guide my professional work are truth, compassion, justice, and encouragement. I believe healing begins with honesty, grows through compassion, and flourishes when people are treated with dignity and fairness. My work is rooted in creating spaces where individuals feel seen, supported, and empowered to move forward with hope. These values shape every interaction, program, and service I provide.
Her Content Hub
Articles by Ayana
Grief Is the Conversation We Are Not Having
We serve women navigating the profound void of loss within the justice system and beyond.
When you hear the word grief, your mind likely wanders to a cemetery. You think of flowers, black dresses, and the finality of a heartbeat stopped. But death is only one chapter in a much larger, more complex story. Grief is the silent passenger in the car of your life. It is the weight in your chest that you can’t quite name. It is the profound void in the heart that remains when the life you knew is stripped away, piece by piece.
For too long, we have kept our voices low. We have whispered about our pain in the shadows, afraid that our tears would be seen as a weakness. But we are here to tell you: grief is not a weakness. It is a human experience. It is a dialogue that your soul is having with itself when the world feels like a storm of grief that won't subside.
The Many Faces of a Hidden Heartbreak
Grief often wears many masks. It doesn't always look like a funeral.
Sometimes, grief looks like a prison cell.
Sometimes, grief looks like a divorce decree.
Sometimes, grief looks like the loss of your own identity.
Sometimes, grief looks like the children you can no longer hold.
We see you. We see the woman grieving the life she thought she would have. We see the woman grieving the version of herself that she had to kill just to survive the system. We see the tears that have become your constant dialogue with a world that refuses to listen. Whether it is addiction, family separation, or the loss of freedom, ALL women deserve a space where their pain is not just managed, but witnessed.
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