Bouwien Luppes

I attribute my success to my authenticity. Life inspired everything I’ve done.

Whether it was infant massage or my current work with abuse survivors, it has always come from my own lived experience. I’ve known trauma and abuse in my life—over and over—and even in my twenties, I remember saying to my sister that I should write a book. At the time, I had no idea what was still ahead of me.

Then last year, during a sweat lodge–type experience in Amsterdam, I had a very clear vision. I walked out, looked at my sister, and said, “The weirdest thing just happened—I know I have to start writing this book.” And I did. That very same week.

Since then, the response has been incredible. The engagement online, the stories women share with me, the breakthroughs they experience—it’s powerful, and deeply fulfilling to witness.

What inspired me? Life. I can’t say it any other way. It’s life itself.

Despite everything I’ve been through, my life has been incredibly rich. Truly.

One of the most valuable things I’ve learned is that healing begins with honesty—with yourself. In my experience, meaningful change becomes possible when we allow ourselves to acknowledge what’s really there, even when it’s uncomfortable. That willingness to face the truth is often the first step toward freedom and personal transformation.

Get trauma-informed. That would be my number one piece of advice.

When you realize that roughly one in three women worldwide has experienced sexual violence, it changes how you see the people you work with. You begin to understand that many of the women you meet—clients, colleagues, even people in your everyday life—may be carrying experiences you do not know and cannot see.

This isn’t limited to women, of course. Men experience abuse as well, often with even more stigma around speaking out.

If you work with people in any capacity—as a coach, therapist, or any practitioner, really—understanding trauma is not optional. Without that awareness, it’s very easy to unintentionally trigger or re-traumatize someone, even with the best intentions.

I experienced this myself years ago during a massage. The therapist was skilled and professional, yet something in the session triggered a trauma response with me. I left feeling completely disconnected from my body, and it took weeks to feel grounded again. It was a deeply unsettling experience.

Being trauma-informed means understanding how trauma can live in the body, how it can surface, and how to create a safe, supportive space for your clients. It also gives you the tools and awareness to respond appropriately if someone does become triggered. Get trauma-informed.

The biggest challenge in my field is how hard it is for people to trust an authentic voice that comes along. It takes a lot—and it’s very hard to do in an online world—to truly reach people, like really reach them.

There’s so much noise out there. So much that feels disingenuine. At times it can feel like everybody sounds the same. And that, to me, is the hardest part.

On the flip side, the opportunity is that I never thought I would be able to do impactful healing work online—and I can. That has been huge. It’s allowed me to travel over the past years while building my business, and to reach people in a way that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.

Personally, the values most important to me are honesty, integrity, and always doing the right thing.

In my business, I’ve anchored my values in what I call the SHIP principles. You should know that I restored an old wooden, custom-built motor yacht from the 1940s. Through that process, I saw so many parallels between restoring that boat and my own healing journey—and that’s what inspired these principles.

The S stands for Safety First, because healing cannot happen without safety. You either need to find that safety within yourself or be in a space that allows you to feel safe.

The H is Honor Your Boundaries. For survivors of abuse or generational trauma, this can be one of the most difficult things to do. Boundaries have often been crossed or ignored, and it takes real courage to begin setting them.

The I is Identify Your Triggers. Many survivors feel like they’ve healed—until something triggers them and brings them right back into the emotional aftermath of what they experienced. Learning to recognize those moments is a powerful step in the healing process.

And the P is Practice Self-Love. That, too, takes courage. Especially when love has been conditional, or when your sense of self-worth has been impacted. Learning to love yourself unconditionally is not a given—it’s a practice.