Carolyn McCollum

I attribute my success to finding a sense of purpose in my work. It's something that, in my opinion, no one else can give you - it's something that you alone define, and it can change all the time depending on how your life is going and what other things have come up. It can change with your personal personality as well, but the most integral part for me to stay in this field is a sense of purpose, not necessarily accomplishment or success, but the feeling that I am doing something worthwhile with my skill set, where I feel like I'm producing in any capacity, at least reducing harm rather than creating harm. As an engineer, and especially as a female engineer, I think our responsibility is even greater because we are more empathetic, more compassionate, and we care deeper about our passions. That sense of purpose has sustained me, even though I'm alone - I still have an end goal. I chose this path, and I want to feel empowered by the choice and not feel let down by constant expectations.

I really want to encourage young women to understand that their confidence and self-esteem must come from within. You cannot seek external validation to feel comfortable. Growing up, I was encouraged to be loud, to be like a man, to be as similar as possible to my peers so I could blend in more easily. But that kind of teaching caused me to almost need external validation - I felt like I had something to prove, that I would be the only woman in the room and I can be the best. A lot of my self-esteem came from external factors. The advice I can give to younger women, or at least my younger self, is don't try to be like the other people in the room to match their energy. Don't even try to match their energy at times, because it might bring more negativity to your life and set you up for biases and letdowns. When you're going into a field where you are lonely and you will be stuck with the constant reality that no one can truly support you and understand you, don't give up your compassion or empathy, but also don't expect your satisfaction and fulfillment to come from somebody else. I no longer want to encourage women to go into this field just because we deserve equity - that's a lot of pressure. Only go into it if you feel like you will be fulfilled, not because society expects you to be fulfilled, because it will be such a lonely life. It should be, do you want to, rather than we should. And understand that it's not a personal failing if you decide early on this is not for me - that's much better than forcing yourself to continue.

In mechanical engineering and hardware engineering fields like electrical, computer, and hardware, we are a huge minority as women. I've actually been the only woman on my team in the past three jobs for the past 6 years. The reality is that in these fields, you will be lonely and stuck with the constant reality that no one can truly support you and understand you in the same way. Society will portray us in a much more negative light no matter how hard we try. The challenge is that it's ingrained in young women that how other people see you is more important than how you see yourself, and that teaching to be strong and be like other men creates a lot of barriers because the encouragement doesn't come from within. Women face constant expectations that might set them up for biases and letdowns.