A therapist's profound reflection on how losing her mother transformed her grief into purpose, revealing how facing pain and embracing loss can lead to healing, deeper connections, and a meaningful life dedicated to helping others.
Influential Woman · Mental Health Therapy
Clarissa Rudolph- Hastings
Therapist, Author
Therapist, Restoration Counseling and Consulting Services
Albuquerque, NM 87109
1Article published
7Awards received
Her Story
About Clarissa
Licensed mental health professional, school counselor, teacher, and author with 25+ years of experience supporting children, adolescents, and adults through evidence-based therapeutic practices. Currently serving as a High School Counselor with Albuquerque Public Schools, at Nex+Gen Academy High School, and providing part-time therapy services at Restoration Counseling and Consulting Services. Skilled in Art Therapy, Play Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Family Therapy, and Social-Emotional Learning, with a strong focus on grief, coping skills, conflict resolution, and overall mental wellness. As an author, I have published inspirational works including Letters From My Mom, Long Since Gone and The Healing Basket, using storytelling to explore healing, resilience, and faith-based growth. I integrate creativity, empathy, and individualized approaches into counseling to empower clients to navigate challenges, develop coping strategies, and achieve meaningful personal growth.
Her Interview
Ten minutes with Clarissa
01What do you attribute your success to?
I attribute my success to God, who has taught me how to be. I also attribute my success to my mom and dad, who instilled hard work, perseverance, and believing I could build a career while also raising a family. They demonstrated this when they opened a family business. We all contributed to its success, working collaboratively. Finally, my maternal grandma, who was a widow at 23 years old, opened a successful restaurant as a single mom and beat an incumbent in politics.
02What’s the best career advice you’ve ever received?
The best career advice I ever received was when I cannot influence change in a macro-system, I work on making healthy changes in a micro-system. Some systems default to what is familiar, which negatively affects growth. Growth should be going up and not wilting.
03What advice would you give to young women entering your industry?
Remember to work on yourself because the first relationship you have is with yourself. It takes a lifetime to build that relationship. It also takes a lifetime to build relationships with others. We cannot give when our vessels are empty. Keep yours filled with healthy life experiences.
04What are the biggest challenges or opportunities in your field right now?
I am a first generation college graduate. I am also a woman who happens to be Latina. Only 6% of therapists are Latina, and only 2% of authors are Latina. The biggest challenge is being among the few. The greatest opportunity is for other Latinas to become therapists and authors.
05What values are most important to you in your work and personal life?
Family is most important to me in my personal life. I have been married for 38 years and I have known my husband for 43 years. Sadly, he has terminal cancer; yet, we make beautiful memories together. I love that my husband has given me a voice and he makes me laugh at the days to come. We have raised two amazing daughters who we love, and we have been blessed with two sweet little granddaughters who call me grandma honey. At work, I consider my school community a second family. As a therapist, I strive to use my life experiences to help people heal and grow. I work with some incredible people.
Her Content Hub
Articles by Clarissa
What Death Has Taught Me
How grief became my greatest teacher and transformed my life into a mission of healing.
Death is painful. As a therapist working with people who are grieving, I have often said that they must feel to heal. We all grieve differently, and through my certifications in grief therapy, I have been taught different techniques to prepare for just about every scenario. I was also trained to be a chaplain, going through a year-long program that partly taught me how to compartmentalize my own grief, especially when I was triggered, so I could be more effective when families lost a loved one.
Degrees, certifications, and workshops are part of our training in grief. There are also our life experiences—something that, as professional therapists, we will face sooner or later. My mom died young and suddenly. She was in a tragic car accident. It has been over 32 years since she died. I am still on a healing journey because grief remains with us for as long as the person who died is gone from our lives.
Death taught me to survive. I was in survival mode for a long time. As I pushed through my pain and sorrow, I was able to help others through their pain and sorrow. We cannot experience joy until we feel pain. We cannot experience happiness until we feel sadness. When we feel fear, we learn how to experience courage. Anger allows us to get in touch with all of our feelings.
If we intentionally feel to heal, if we allow ourselves to survive, this journey will eventually lead us to truly live life.
Death taught me to feel pain, sadness, and fear. Death taught me to live life. It opened the door to a career that my mom never knew I would have. She used to tell me to leave people better than I found them. As a therapist, I have done that. She also taught me to take the bad in my life and make it good. Her death helped me demonstrate how to do this.
It takes a lifetime to build a relationship with ourselves and with others. I am still building a relationship with my mom, who, even though she is gone, is still with me—in the sweet words she placed in my mind and in the love she graciously gave me in my heart.
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