Coach Bulinda Wright

You Don't Need Permission to Become Her

There comes a moment in a woman's life when she has to stop asking, "Do they see me? Do they understand me? Do they accept me?" and start asking a different question:

"Do I believe what God says about me?"

Because sometimes the greatest thing standing between us and the woman we are becoming is not our circumstances. It is our need for validation.

We want people to understand our choices. We want them to recognize how much we've grown. We want them to acknowledge our transformation and perhaps even apologize for the ways they hurt us.

But here is the freedom I have discovered:

You don't need their validation to become who God created you to be.

You don't need everyone to understand you.

You don't need everyone to accept you.

And you certainly don't need everyone to agree with the direction your life is taking.

Some people will only remember who you used to be. They will continue to define you by your mistakes, your failures, your heartbreaks, your divorce, your disappointments, or the version of you they knew years ago.

Let them remember.

You don't have to go back and convince them that you've changed.

Keep moving forward.

Some People Are Only Meant for a Season

One of the hardest lessons we learn as we grow is that everyone who enters our lives isn't necessarily meant to remain for a lifetime.

Some people are there for a season.

Some relationships teach us.

Some relationships stretch us.

Some relationships reveal us.

And, yes, some relationships hurt us.

But just because someone was part of your story doesn't mean they are supposed to be part of every chapter.

We have to learn how to release people without allowing bitterness to take up residence in our hearts.

That doesn't mean what happened didn't matter.

It means it no longer gets to control where you're going.

I don't have to dwell on the people who want to keep me in my past when God is calling me into my future.

I am becoming her.

The woman who prays differently.

The woman who thinks differently.

The woman who knows her worth.

The woman who has boundaries.

The woman who no longer compromises herself just to be accepted.

The woman who can walk away without needing to explain herself to everyone.

The woman who can forgive without reopening doors God told her to close.

The woman who can look at her past and say, "That was part of my story, but it is not the end of my story."

Prayer Changed Me

I cannot talk about becoming her without talking about prayer.

Because prayer changed me.

Prayer didn't simply change what was happening around me. Prayer changed what was happening within me.

It changed my perspective.

It strengthened my faith.

It gave me wisdom when I didn't know what to do.

It gave me peace when I couldn't control the outcome.

It taught me how to surrender what I could not fix and trust the One who could.

There were things I thought I needed people to fix that only God could heal.

There were questions I wanted people to answer that God answered through prayer.

There were doors I wanted to force open that God gave me the wisdom to leave closed.

Prayer can change the entire trajectory of your life because prayer changes the person who is walking through it.

When I began looking upward instead of constantly looking backward, something changed.

My faith elevated me.

I began to understand that my future did not have to be dictated by my history.

My disappointments did not have to become my identity.

My pain did not have to become my personality.

And my past did not have to have the final word.

God does.

Stop Waiting for Permission

Maybe you've been waiting for someone to give you permission to start over.

Permission to dream again.

Permission to love again.

Permission to lead.

Permission to change careers.

Permission to pursue your purpose.

Permission to walk away.

Permission to become confident.

Permission to take up space.

Permission to finally become the woman you've been praying to become.

Let me remind you:

You don't need permission.

You need courage.

You need faith.

You need obedience.

And sometimes, you simply need to say, "Yes, God."

Because everyone isn't going to celebrate your growth.

Everyone isn't going to understand your decisions.

Everyone isn't going to recognize the woman you're becoming.

And that's okay.

You weren't created to live your life seeking the approval of everyone else.

You were created to fulfill what God placed inside of you.

Become Her Anyway

Become her anyway.

Become her when they don't understand.

Become her when they underestimate you.

Become her when they only remember your past.

Become her when nobody is clapping.

Become her when the journey is uncomfortable.

Become her when you have to start over.

Become her when you have to walk alone for a season.

Become her when you are still healing.

Become her when you're still learning.

Become her when you're afraid.

And most importantly, become her while giving God all the glory.

You don't have to become someone else to be worthy.

You don't have to perform for acceptance.

You don't have to prove your worth.

You don't have to retaliate against those who hurt you.

Your greatest response can simply be growth.

Live.

Heal.

Pray.

Grow.

Love.

Dream.

Serve.

Shine.

And keep looking forward.

Because there is something powerful about a woman who has stopped looking for permission and started walking in purpose.

She isn't bitter.

She's free.

She isn't stuck in what happened.

She's looking toward what God is doing.

She isn't obsessed with who left.

She's grateful for who stayed and trusting God with who comes next.

She isn't trying to prove that she's different.

She knows she is.

And she isn't looking backward for validation.

She's looking upward for direction.

So, woman of God, keep becoming her.

Keep praying.

Keep believing.

Keep growing.

Keep healing.

Keep shining.

Keep walking boldly into every place God has called you.

You don't have to convince everyone.

You don't have to explain everything.

You don't have to carry yesterday into tomorrow.

You are allowed to move forward.

You are allowed to become.

And you are allowed to become her without apology.

Because the woman God is calling you to become doesn't need permission from people. She needs the courage to say yes to God—not to them.

Keep Looking Up

Coach Bulinda Wright

KeepLooking Up with B. Wright-Jones, LLC

Who Told You That?

There are voices we hear throughout our lives—voices from family, friends, relationships, society, past experiences, and sometimes even the voice of our own insecurities.

Some voices encourage us. They inspire us. They remind us of who we are and challenge us to become the best version of ourselves.

But there are other voices.

Voices that tell us to shrink back.

Voices that tell us to be quiet.

Voices that tell us that our past disqualifies us from our future.

Voices that tell us we are not enough—that we are too old, too broken, too damaged, too inexperienced, or too different to accomplish what God has placed inside of us.

And I have one question:

Who told you that?

Who told you that you couldn’t rise again?

Who told you that your mistakes were the end of your story?

Who told you that your pain had to remain your identity?

Who told you to silence your voice?

Who told you that you should be ashamed of what you have overcome?

I want to challenge you to examine the voices you have allowed to influence your life.

Because the voices we listen to can shape the way we see ourselves, the decisions we make, and the future we believe is possible.

I know something about overcoming challenges.

Life has presented me with circumstances that could have caused me to give up. I have experienced disappointment, heartbreak, rejection, difficult relationships, seasons of uncertainty, and moments when I had to fight to believe that there was still something greater ahead.

But through every challenge, my faith has reminded me that my circumstances do not get the final say.

God does.

My story is not defined by what happened to me. It is defined by what I chose to do with what happened to me.

I chose to keep going.

I chose to heal.

I chose to grow.

I chose to believe.

And, most importantly, I chose to trust God.

As women, we are not called to live in fear of becoming who God created us to be. We are created in His image, and our lives have purpose. We have been given voices, gifts, experiences, wisdom, and testimonies that can make a difference in the lives of others.

Your voice matters.

Your story matters.

Your testimony matters.

That challenge you survived may be the very testimony another woman needs to hear.

That season you thought would destroy you may become the evidence someone else needs to see that they can survive their season, too.

That door that closed may have taught you something you could not have learned any other way.

That heartbreak may have introduced you to healing.

That rejection may have redirected you.

That failure may have developed your resilience.

And that painful chapter may have prepared you to help someone else navigate theirs.

Don’t allow shame to silence what God wants to use for His glory.

There is a difference between being transparent and being exposed. You don’t have to tell everyone everything. Wisdom and discernment should guide what you share, when you share it, and with whom you share it.

But don’t allow fear to convince you that your testimony has no value.

We are embodied human beings, created with a spirit, and we were created for relationship with God and for purpose. We were not created to live small, fearful lives because of what we have experienced.

We are called to let our light shine.

We are called to walk by faith.

We are called to encourage one another.

We are called to use what we have learned to help others.

And sometimes, walking in your purpose simply means having the courage to say:

“I have been through some things, but look at me now.”

Not because you are perfect.

Not because you have never fallen.

Not because you have never cried.

But because you got back up.

You kept believing.

You kept moving.

You kept looking to God.

The challenges of your life do not have to become the chains that hold you back. They can become the very experiences that strengthen you, develop you, and reveal the woman you are becoming.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

You are a masterpiece in the eyes of the Master.

And the Master of the universe has placed gifts, purpose, strength, and potential within you that were never meant to be buried beneath fear.

So I encourage you today:

Check the voices.

Ask yourself:

Who am I allowing to speak into my life?

Are these voices encouraging me or discouraging me?

Are they pushing me toward purpose or pulling me away from it?

Are they inspiring me to walk in faith, or are they teaching me to live in fear?

Are they reminding me of who God says I am, or are they constantly defining me by what I have been through?

You don’t have to listen to every voice.

And you certainly don’t have to obey every voice.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is reject the voice that says, “You can’t,” and choose to believe the voice that says, “With God, all things are possible.”

So don’t back down because of adversity.

Don’t shrink because someone else is uncomfortable with your growth.

Don’t mute your voice because someone doesn’t understand your journey.

Don’t allow your past to intimidate your future.

Stand.

Rise.

Heal.

Grow.

Speak.

Walk boldly in your purpose.

And when the negative voices come asking, “Who do you think you are?”

You can answer:

“I am who God says I am.”

Your story is still being written.

Your best chapters may still be ahead.

And somewhere, there is another woman who needs to see you walk in victory so she can believe that victory is possible for her, too.

So be that woman.

Be the woman who refuses to give up.

Be the woman who chooses faith over fear.

Be the woman who turns pain into purpose, adversity into strength, and her testimony into encouragement for someone else.

Let your purpose shine so brightly that others can find their way because you were willing to shine.

And, as I always say:

Keep Looking Up.

Coach Bulinda Wright

Keep Looking Up with B. Wright-Jones, LLC