Dr. Deanna Hall

Failure has been the key to my success. It's not just about failing, but about acknowledging it, learning from it, and realizing that I don't have to stay where I'm at. I could stay in that position and wallow, or I can learn from it and switch my perspective. That's what's hard for a lot of people - you've got to switch it. So many people say, 'This person did this to me,' but I've learned to look at it from my perspective and say, 'Well, I have a lot to do with it, too.' I'm not going to allow someone to do that to me anymore. I have the power to decide how I want to react. When I changed the dialogue back to myself and who I am, things looked so much different. I started thinking, 'Man, I could have done that better. How could I have done that better?' And then I let it go, walk on, move on, and don't overthink it. That ability to own my part, learn from my mistakes, and keep moving forward without getting stuck in the failure - that's what's made all the difference.

The biggest challenge would be the fear of not being authentic. If you are not perceived as real or authentic, they will shut you off in 3 to 5 seconds. You cannot mimic anyone else - you have got to find yourself. If you are a robot just throwing out data and research, you turn people off right then and there. They want to hear emotions and stories. Even if you're young and don't have your own experiences yet, you need to get out there and start talking to people who have been there and done that, start feeling that empathy, and be able to tell those stories to create that connection. If you don't have that connection within the first 30 seconds, you've lost them. You've got to come in there with that hook - why are they there? Why should they sit and listen to you? What are you going to help them with? And here's another critical thing: don't waste your energy on the arm-crossers and naysayers. When you've got someone saying 'yes, yes, I like what you're saying,' focus on them, not the people who have already decided no. Women especially don't like to fail, so they spend all their energy trying to convince the people who will never be convinced, and they ignore the ones who are ready to receive what they have to offer. Go after the ones who are nodding their head - you've got them. Let the naysayers go and move on.

Honesty and fairness are at the core of everything I do. My motto when I was teaching was firm, fair, and then fun - but fun didn't come for like 3 months. It was firm and fair first. As long as it's fair, I don't care if I like you or don't like you. If what you're saying is good to go, I'm with you 1,000%, even if I don't like you personally. I'm about fairness across the board - don't be unfair to someone just because you don't like them. I think ethically and morally, people make mistakes, and I believe in forgiveness. I believe in forgiving and forgetting and moving on. I don't have time to hold onto things because I make mistakes all the time too. I believe in ownership - if you do something wrong, you better own up to it. You apologize one time, authentically, and if they don't accept it, that's on them and you move on. I don't have time for people who want 15,000 apologies. Go spend time with people that want to be around you, that get you. Surround yourself with people who get you - it's less stressful.