Desiree Batiste, SCLA

I attribute my success to deciding not to be a victim. I was a victim for a very, very long time in my own mind, and my depression got so bad I was almost thinking of making another suicide attempt. I think being at that point where I felt like I was at my lowest, not worth anything, nothing to offer anybody, even myself, I had to ask how did I end up here, under somebody's control. Through my writing, I came to the realization that none of that was my fault. None of it was because I was lacking in some way, or I'm not worthy, or I'm not a good person. I decided to kind of turn that into my own motivation, because I was angry. I used that anger to just stand on my soapbox and drain it all out. It was very cathartic for me. The reason I decided to publish it and share it was because if I was feeling that strongly about it for as long as I was, there had to be other people out there who might feel the same way. I wanted them to know that we're not alone.

Don't expect to become a best seller or win awards overnight.You'll hear 'no' pretty often, but each 'no' brings you one step closer to a 'yes'.

There are so many circumstances that you fight within yourself in whatever state you happen to be in at that moment. It doesn't matter if you're not happy with your weight, or your complexion, or your haircut, or whatever it might be. You're not gonna stay like that forever. You change on the daily. For you to be better or different, you are in control. Focus on your core values, who you want to be at heart. Don't let anything hold you back from that or take away your strength in knowing who you are. I like to tell people not to settle for less than what they deserve. You just have to remember that you're not gonna stay in that mindset forever. Every day that you wake up holds the potential for change.

The biggest challenge is when you're on a deadline or trying to accomplish something in a creative state. When I know something like that is coming up and I want to write something, sometimes it puts pressure on me, and every time I think about how many days are left and I haven't gotten anything going, I wonder why isn't this working. I've learned that you can't force it out of yourself. Something has to come and sort of tickle you to get the boulder rolling downhill. That's what I meant with not getting too inside my own head, because if I do that, I'm just gonna freeze up and nothing's gonna come out at all. The challenge is giving myself permission to relax. Yes, you're on a deadline, but you also can't squeeze this out of yourself. You have to let it come to you.

Treating people with respect is the most important value to me. Even though I called out my abusers by their first names in one of my poems, I feel like I want to be the better person in that. My goal isn't to expose them publicly with all their details. I could, but then I would have allowed myself to sink down to their level. I just want to be respectful and maybe be a role model to others. That's very important to me. Usually you have to give respect to get respect, but I'll respect you until you give me a reason not to.