Elaine Culbertson

I think I had a dad who never stopped. He was always doing everything with his full mind and full energy, and that was an example to me. The other thing I would say is that he showered us with love in a way that made us feel that we were important, but we also felt safe. When you come from an immigrant family and they make their way to America, you are their hope and everything, because you were born in America, so you're gold in a way. Every dream and every idea is packed into you. My father, Bernard Freilich, gave me that foundation of feeling both loved and secure, which allowed me to pursue my work with full commitment.

Network. Never underestimate people that you're working with. You never know what other opportunities they might have for you. Even friends can kind of help you up the ladder. People that you didn't kind of recognize right away as someone who might have influence or who might lend you a helping hand - I think a lot of people get a lot of help in their work and in their careers from friendships, rather than just from business connections. Someone can, out of the blue, just say something to you that's going to be the next rung on the ladder, or whatever. You don't know.

Some of this is going to sound a little old-fashioned, but dress in a way that shows that you respect yourself. Carry yourself always with a sense that you are a role model for children and adults who are your clients - if you say that your students are your clients. You're always on. You're always on, especially when you think you're not on. Just carry yourself with respect, and realize that you are always a role model.

The first challenge is always that when you're a young woman coming into anything, everybody expects that you're only there for a short time, that you'll be out because of maternity. When I started teaching, I was young, and it was kind of like, well, we have some opportunities here, but we're not going to choose you because we know that you're going to be out in a couple of years. The assumption that because you're a woman, you need to take a step back and let the men have these opportunities, because they're here for their careers, but you are just here to find a husband and retire back in your happy home. As you get older, you're stereotyped as not as smart, not as willing to learn new things, and the opportunities start to dry up because people say you've only got two or three years left. So on both ends of your career, and in the middle when you are raising children, the exact same thing happens - well, you won't be able to do this because you've got kids. That's a particular kind of challenge that certainly men don't face, and it has nothing to do with ability and merely to do with gender. Also being treated in a paternalistic way, like a vice principal who would put his arm around you when he spoke to you - this is creepy, it's a way of cutting you down to size. I think we've gotten better about it as women have gone into more professional areas and risen in business, law, and medicine, but I would guess a lot of this stuff still goes on. Women are still paid less, or passed over for promotions because a man has to support his family while a woman's income is just a second income.

Honesty, integrity, and respect are fundamental to me. I believe in always putting your best foot forward - don't just do the job, finish the job. Put your particular spin on it and make sure that it's the best representation of who you are and what you are. Listen more than you talk. I tell my kids all the time, you have to listen to listen, not listen to respond. These values guide everything I do, both professionally and personally.