Grinda Fleshman

I think the most important thing for me was becoming a single parent at 17 and having to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I was in college on a scholarship, but when I got pregnant my first semester, I had to leave because you can't live in the dorms and have a child. That's when I went to the recruiting office, even though my first choice wasn't the Navy because I didn't know how to swim. But I learned that was just a myth we all hear. Getting stationed in Norfolk on Christmas Day, coming from California where I'd never seen snow, was such a shock. I called my mom and said 'come get me! It's snowing!' But she sent me a box of coats instead, and who knew that would turn into 21 years later. I saw the world and I appreciate the military for that. My most rewarding experience was my last 3 years as a recruiter, because I was able to see people firsthand, I didn't lie, I told them the truth. I helped a lot of females who were contemplating joining. Even now when I talk to people, women and men, I always tell them you choose what you want to do, never let anyone choose for you. You gotta see this through. Even if you don't do 20 years, you at least gotta do those 4 years doing something that's gonna benefit you, something you can get out with a trade and continue on. But most of all, take some college classes while you're in there and take advantage of everything.

The first thing I always tell them is to search all the branches. Don't settle for one because your parent did it, and please don't tell me 'oh, I want to fly a plane, so I'm gonna go in the Air Force.' You know how much I hear that? But you know what, there are planes in every single branch. The Navy has airplanes, but you can't fly the airplane, you have to be an officer. And you're not just an officer, you gotta be selected. I tell them that, and I go, the whole thing with the Navy is a myth about the swim. I still can't swim to this day. But did I have to jump off a diving board? Yeah, and pretty much all of them you have to do that. But you just have to know how to float for 5 minutes. I didn't have to swim laps in the pool, and once you did that, you never have to do it again unless it's your choice. That's a myth about the Air Force, and that's a myth about all of them, really. I always tell women and men to search, do your research. And don't think 'oh, I'm gonna go in the Marines, I'm gonna be infantry.' No, once again, that's a myth, because you have to be of a certain caliber just to be in infantry. They don't just throw you in infantry, you gotta pass some steps along the way. I just always tell people to research, and nowadays it's so much easier. You can Google and find out anything about any branch now. Just take your time with it.

The most important thing to me is being honest and helping people make the right choices for themselves. As a recruiter, I didn't lie, I told people the truth. I didn't just sell the Navy because I feel like you should choose whatever branch you want to go with. When I talk to people, even now, I always tell them you choose what you want to do, never let anyone choose for you. I want people to be 100% happy with their decisions. I didn't just build a dream and tell people what they wanted to hear just to get them to join. I put in 101 people during my 3-year tour as a recruiter, and I'm still friends with a lot of them because I was honest with them. I also believe in giving back and creating outlets for people who need support. I started a small support group for women in the church because even though I can afford a psychiatrist, everybody can't, and mental health is expensive. I wanted them to have a place where they can come and be free, get whatever they need to get off their mind. I use a lot of what I learned as a recruiter, like when I would go to nursing homes and other recruiters would ask why, I'd say 'but they have grandkids, nieces, nephews.' You have to think outside the box.