Iris Kapo Burke

Leading With Depth

What makes someone a great leader?

We often look first to the things we can easily see: the title they hold, the results they deliver, the recognition they receive, or the size of the team or organization they lead.

Those things matter. Performance matters. Results matter.

But they don't tell the whole story.

Leadership is also revealed in how we show up when things are difficult. How we make people feel. Whether people trust us enough to tell us the truth. Whether we are willing to examine our own behavior as closely as we examine the behavior of others. Whether we remain curious when it would be easier to be certain.

And perhaps most importantly, whether the person we are becoming is aligned with the person-and leader-we actually want to be.

That is what I mean by leading with depth.

Going Deeper

Vathos is the Greek word for "depth," and it became the foundation of my leadership philosophy and the name of my coaching practice, VATHOS.

To lead with depth is to be willing to look beneath the surface-not only at what we are accomplishing, but at how we are accomplishing it and who we are becoming along the way.

I think about this through six values represented by the letters in VATHOS: Vulnerability, Awareness, Trust, Honesty, Openness, and Success.

They aren't a checklist for perfect leadership. They are invitations to go deeper.

Vulnerability: Have the Courage to Be Seen

Vulnerability in leadership does not mean sharing everything with everyone. It means having the courage to be human.

It can look like saying, "I don't know."

Asking for help.

Acknowledging a mistake.

Having the difficult conversation you've been avoiding.

Or allowing people to see that you are still learning, too.

We sometimes believe credibility comes from always appearing confident and certain. But some of the strongest leaders I have encountered are secure enough to admit when they don't have the answer.

Where could greater vulnerability strengthen the way you lead?

Awareness: Notice How You Show Up

Leadership begins with awareness.

We all have patterns, assumptions, strengths, triggers, blind spots, and beliefs that influence how we interact with the world. The deeper our awareness of them, the more choice we have in how we respond.

Awareness also requires understanding our impact.

Our intention matters, but intention and impact are not always the same. We may intend to be decisive and be experienced as dismissive. We may believe we are giving someone autonomy while they experience a lack of support.

Self-awareness allows us to become curious about that gap rather than defensive about it.

What are you noticing about how you show up-and what might you be overlooking?

Trust: Build It-and Extend It

Trust is foundational to meaningful relationships and effective teams.

But trust isn't built through a mission statement. It is built through hundreds of small moments: doing what we say we will do, communicating honestly, creating psychological safety, giving people room to contribute, and showing through our actions that their voices matter.

There is another form of trust that leaders sometimes overlook: trusting ourselves.

We can spend so much time looking outward for reassurance, approval, or permission that we stop listening to our own wisdom.

Leading with depth requires both.

Where could you build greater trust-with others and with yourself?

Honesty: Tell the Truth, Especially to Yourself

Honesty is not simply about telling the truth to other people. Sometimes the most difficult person to be honest with is ourselves.

What isn't working? What conversation are you avoiding? What do you already know but haven't been willing to acknowledge?

Honesty can be uncomfortable because once we name something, we feel responsible for doing something about it. The truth can ask us to make a difficult decision, have a conversation we've been avoiding, set a boundary, or admit that something needs to change. But we can't make an intentional choice about something we aren't willing to acknowledge.

There is tremendous freedom and confidence that comes with telling ourselves the truth.

What truth might be asking for your attention right now?

Openness: Choose Curiosity Over Certainty

The more experienced we become, the easier it can be to believe we already know. We have seen this problem before. We know what works. We have developed expertise.

Experience is valuable-but it can also narrow our field of vision if we stop being curious.

Openness asks us to consider another perspective. To listen before forming our response. To question assumptions. To entertain the possibility that there may be another way.

Some of the most powerful questions a leader can ask are simple:

What am I missing?

What else could be true?

Whose perspective haven't I heard?

Where might curiosity serve you better than certainty?

Success: Define It for Yourself

The final principle asks perhaps the hardest question: What does success actually mean to you?

Not to the world around you.

Not to your parents.

Not to your culture.

Not even to the earlier version of yourself who may have been working toward something very different.

For much of my adult life, professional growth was an important part of how I understood success. I spent 14 years building a meaningful career in federal service, working across a global organization, developing leaders, and eventually helping lead an award-winning coaching program.

I am deeply grateful for that chapter.

Then I became a mom.

Motherhood didn't erase my ambition. It changed the questions I was asking.

What kind of life did I want to create? How did I want to spend my time? What work felt most meaningful to me?

Eventually, my definition of success evolved enough that I made the difficult decision to leave a great career and build Vathos.

I was grateful for the career I had, but I chose something different.

Sometimes we simply evolve.

This question can be especially significant for mothers navigating careers, changing priorities, ambition, caregiving, and their own identities. But it applies to all of us. The definition of success that guided you five, ten, or twenty years ago might be different today.

If no one else got to define it for you, what would success look like in this season of your life?

Leadership Is More Than What People Can See

Leading with depth doesn't mean performance becomes less important.

It means performance isn't the only thing that matters.

Your title may tell people what you do. Your accomplishments may demonstrate what you've achieved. Recognition may reflect the value others see in your contributions.

But there is another dimension of leadership that is harder to put on a résumé.

It's how people experience you.

It's the trust you build.

It's the courage you demonstrate.

It's your willingness to look inward.

It's how you respond when things don't go according to plan.

It's whether you create space for other people to grow.

And it's whether the life and leadership you are building are aligned with what matters most to you.

Vulnerability. Awareness. Trust. Honesty. Openness. Success.

You don't arrive at these qualities once and check them off a list. They are practices. Questions we return to again and again as we grow.

Because leadership isn't only about reaching the next level. Sometimes, the most important direction is deeper.

What would it mean for you to Lead With Depth?