Jimesha Gray

I attribute my success to my struggle. I grew up in what you would call a poverty-stricken neighborhood. Not only that, but my mother had mental health and drug issues that she faced, and so at a young age, we were removed from her care - my dad kind of took on full term. Being a man, he was raising 4 girls, and he knew nothing about raising 4 girls. He wasn't present that often, but we still strived to be the best that we could be - going to college, getting grades, all those things. I feel like he never asked about a report card, he never came to a parent conference. I was ripping and running the streets, not doing anything bad, but just outside, and I just feel like there was nobody to check on me at multiple points. For kids, that's extremely important to be seen. A lot of times, kids are struggling with things internally that other people don't know about, and I feel like I'm really good at saying, maybe it's not me, maybe it's something else that's happening, and giving them that benefit of the doubt, so still being able to be there for them in their times of need, even when they're being really mean to me and I've done nothing to them. When I talk about my success, my relationships with kids are always so great. I had a kid literally come to me this year and apologize - like, last year I was so crappy to you, and you didn't deserve it, and I'm sorry for my behavior. And I'm like, and I still love you. I just know that there are a lot of times kids are going through things, and they don't know how to express themselves. Every parent isn't the best parent, but it's all we got, and I just feel like I like to see the kids who weren't seen, because I feel like I wasn't seen.

I would say don't come in thinking you're going to be the master of your subject. Come in with the mindset of teaching kids where they're at. When you first enter the field, you have this mindset of, oh, I'm the knower of all history, I'm going to teach them this history, and you love your subject so much that you get caught up in teaching content, and you miss the human factor of being in education. Every kid is not going to come into school ready to be like, yeah, I want to learn history, but the relationships that you build are going to provide you access to teach those kids that subject and make those kids love that subject. I've had kids literally say, Ms. Gray, I'm gonna go study psychology because of your AP psychology class, and I'm like, amazing! But the only reason why I can get to them is because I build a relationship with them. And so now I'm able to nerd out with you, because I already made this connection with you, where you trust me. I would just tell people coming into this profession that you're coming in with the mindset of creating or helping mold the next community citizen. Don't focus on the subject, focus on the bonds, because the bonds give you access to teach the subject.

I think the biggest challenges in my field right now, based on my area, is that I feel like generationally, times are changing. Kids are more disrespectful, they lack respect. I feel like kids don't want to learn - and I don't mean that they can't, I mean I just feel like they don't want to, because they would rather be in the moment, like social media, the internet. At a certain time, we didn't have these things as accessible as they now have, and so they would rather be doing anything else that is more instantly gratifying than things that you can't see the results of until later down the line. For me, growing up, we were taught to be respectful to every adult. I have kids who curse me out, and then I'll have a parent conference, and they're cursing their mama out, and I'm like, oh, wow. I have moments where I'm telling kids, like, don't talk to your mother like that. I don't care how you feel, you don't do that to her, she's got your back, she's doing the best she can. I feel like the lack of respect that this generation has is the biggest issue, and I think that some of the parents just don't know what to do. Obviously so many laws have changed, like how you can discipline your kids, how you can talk to your kids, what you can and can't do. I love them to death, but they're terrible.

In my work and personal life, I think one of the biggest things I'll say is vulnerability. I'd say joy, because I think that everybody should have a good time. And then just being honest - honesty goes a long way. I tell my kids, I tell everybody, you cannot have anything or move forward if you don't tell people how you feel. When you're honest, you get a chance to decide what they want to do moving forward. You also free yourself from feeling like nothing is changing. I live in being honest no matter how or what the outcome may be for myself. Now, for the people, obviously, you want to be very specific as to how you say things, because it's not what you say, it's how you say it. But I would say that those are the three things that I kind of live by at my job and at home: vulnerability, honesty, and joy.