Kimberley Ann Luckabaugh

I've experienced times where professionally you get knocked down, and it's okay and normal to sit with that and say, you know what, that really stunk. That's hard. You have to wrestle with it for a while. But coming out of that and moving past it - that's what matters. So oftentimes we let those moments define us and become our story, but rising above those moments, that's something I've experienced and risen past. That's not going to be my definition. I'm going to dig in and summon up who I know I am inside, and move past it into what I'm called to accomplish. I'm a very fast thinker, so I can look through a situation that comes up and within 5 seconds I can see 3 or 4 different ways it's going to go, and I already know the end result and where the right answer is. But I've learned to step back and sit with my decision for a minute, to make sure that's the right one. Does it not just feel right, but how does that play out? And maintaining integrity through your decision-making has been really impactful and important.

The best advice I ever received really comes from life advice that my grandma gave me, that her father gave her. It was about how do you receive advice and navigate through all the voices and words and things that people tell you. You're going to hear a lot of things in your life. People are going to tell you a lot of things they think you should know, you need to know, you have to do, you should do. And at the end of the day, it's like separating the wheat from the chaff - you're going to sift through it. There are going to be certain elements of advice that are truly wise, and those are going to remain with you. That's what you need to listen to. You don't need to listen to every piece of advice that comes your way, but you need to very thoughtfully consider what step you're going to take next. I peripherally consider it and really work through and say, is this the right direction to go? I've learned to step back and sit with my decision for a minute. Does it not just feel right, but how does that play out? Have I listened to people that are going to tell me things I don't want to hear? And am I really going to sit there and sort through that? It's hard to hear things you don't want to hear, and then realize at the end of the day, you know what, that's probably the right answer. And as much as I don't want to do that, it's the right thing to do. Maintaining integrity through your decision-making has been really impactful and important.

So oftentimes when we step into this space, it's a 'I'm going to change the world' mindset. And that is such a noble and lofty mindset, and there's nothing wrong with that. But at the same time, I would ask if they temper it just a little bit and look at the lives that they encounter one at a time. Focus on the one in front of them. The big picture is fantastic, and you absolutely want that big picture. But let's focus on people one at a time, because those stories matter. Think about how we can support that one person at that one moment. So often we can easily get caught up in that larger picture, and I like to bring it back down to that personal level and do that one-on-one. If we can make a difference for that one person, I mean, that's where the name of our organization comes from, Starfish Alliance. The story of the starfish is there's a young boy on the beach with all these starfish washed up, and he starts throwing them back in the water one at a time. An old man mocks him and says, you can't save them all. And he picks one up and defiantly throws it back in the water and says, well, I made a difference for that one. When I look at that one life, that one story, that motivates me. I want to make a difference for that one person that I'm working with in that moment. We are building a scalable organization so we can have a larger and greater impact, but it starts with focusing on that one person.

Right now, the biggest challenge is making sure what we build is just right. We are building a nonprofit and still in the early stages, and that entrepreneurial part that comes with building something new and getting systems in place and processes and procedures - I want to ensure that our systems serve survivors properly and carefully to prevent them from future exploitation. That's a real heavy charge on my shoulders. I want to make sure we set a survivor up to where they can thrive, that we put the right things in place and connect the right people to them. We had a survivor work with us early on, and she said to me, Kim, instead of helping us pay the rent, help us buy a house. I realized that so many systems are set up just to help a survivor get by one day to the next, but that's not what's needed. What's needed is to help a survivor to really be empowered to walk with her head up, knowing that she's charting her own course and directing where her life goes. It's not going to come through an hourly wage job. We need to move a survivor from survive to thrive. I've seen other programs follow survivors for 3 or 4 months and say, see, they're in a job. That's not impressive to me because they're just surviving, they're not thriving. We need the right opportunities, the right resources, and the right process to ensure that they thrive. I carry that very personally. I want the survivors that we support to know that they're walking into something that will be life-changing.