Kimberly McNary, LMFT
Kimberly McNary, LMFT, is a seasoned Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 17 years of experience supporting individuals and couples in strengthening their most cherished relationships. She is the founder of The Classy Girls Guide to Divorce℠, a program dedicated to empowering women through the emotional and logistical challenges of divorce while helping them retain dignity, clarity, and self-empowerment. Kimberly integrates evidence-based approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) to help clients navigate trauma, infidelity, and relationship transitions. Kimberly’s professional journey is deeply personal. Growing up in a conflictual household inspired her lifelong passion for therapy, which she first shared with her mother at age eight. After early careers as a loan officer and pharmaceutical sales representative, Kimberly paused to raise her children and support her family before returning to school to earn her Master of Arts in Marital and Family Therapy from Bethel Seminary. Since then, she has built a thriving private practice in San Diego, California, where she works with couples and individuals to reduce negative relationship patterns, strengthen emotional regulation, and promote secure and lasting bonds. Beyond her clinical work, Kimberly is committed to redefining divorce for high-functioning women. Through her coaching, workshops, and therapeutic programs, she guides women in recalibrating power, identity, and life direction and blending families, post-divorce, emphasizing practical tools and emotional regulation strategies. As a wife, mother, stepmother, and grandmother, she brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work, offering a compassionate, strategic, and empowering approach that supports clients through life’s most challenging transitions.
• LMFT
• Bethel Seminary - M.A.
• American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT)
• California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
• International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
• Center for Excellence in EMDR
• EMDRIA
• Provisors
• San Diego Collaborative
• San Diego Trauma Network Response Team
What do you attribute your success to?
I would say a lineage of strong women. Even my mother's mental health issues have guided me - despite her limitations, she did a fairly okay job of getting my brother and I out of the house into college. So she's been an influence, and I'll honestly say my girls at this point, my daughters. They influence me daily. I grow. Parenting has grown me more than anything. All the trauma I experienced has also shaped my path. A therapist once said to me, you either spend $100,000 on therapy, or you spend $100,000 becoming a therapist - you're gonna get the same result. You gotta do the work. You can't carry clients any farther than you've gone yourself. So that's pretty much it with my background and wanting to help in the areas that I didn't receive help.
What’s the best career advice you’ve ever received?
Do you want a relationship, or do you want to be right? That has really guided me. Another piece of impactful advice was, “I can care, but I don’t have to carry it.”
What advice would you give to young women entering your industry?
My advice to young women entering this industry is to lead by example and show that you can achieve your professional goals. I encourage focusing on building a strong career and gaining diverse life experiences before feeling pressured to rush into parenthood. Surround yourself with women who empower and encourage you, not compete and drain your energy. You reflect what you are surrounded with.
What are the biggest challenges or opportunities in your field right now?
A significant challenge in my field is the lack of accessible support and clear guidance for women navigating divorce and major life transitions, particularly when it comes to managing emotional regulation. This gap presents an opportunity to offer practical, nervous-system-based tools and strategies that help women navigate these experiences with dignity and empowerment.
What values are most important to you in your work and personal life?
The values most important to me in both my work and personal life are supporting women, preserving dignity, fostering emotional regulation, cherishing family, and committing to continual learning. Outside of work, I enjoy spending time with my husband, adult children, grandkids, playing pickleball, hiking, traveling, and reading.