Her Story
About Marnie
I've been in matchmaking for two years, but my journey to get here has been anything but conventional. I was a housewife and mom for 33 years, raising three children. After my marriage ended, I went back to school at age 50 with nothing but a high school diploma and brand new sobriety. I earned my master's in counseling in 2019 and became a licensed professional counselor, specializing in marriage and family therapy and drug and alcohol abuse counseling. I worked as a primary therapist at high-end treatment facilities like Promises and Soul Surgery, eventually becoming an interim clinical director. I created outpatient treatment programs for Lighthouse Recovery and Sanctuary Recovery, training therapists and clinical staff. My final work as a therapist was with the Native American population at Lighthouse, which I consider the greatest, most purposeful work of my life. When that facility was shut down due to insurance fraud issues in the industry, I retired. But retirement lasted only three weeks before I had an idea sitting on my cousin's couch. She helped me build the business while I developed the clinical program, and within a year we were so successful she turned the keys over to me. Now I'm a completely brand new kind of matchmaker. My matches are based on core beliefs and values, using clinical studies and cognitive behavioral therapy. I help clients explore maladaptive patterns from past relationships so they don't repeat them. I'm also Gottman-trained, so I teach clients about healthy conflict resolution. In two years, I've facilitated four marriages and 72 ongoing relationships. I started my own singles Facebook group that now has over 3,200 members, and I run free singles events every week. My last event had 135 people show up. I work primarily with men between 55 and 75 in the Greater Phoenix-Scottsdale area, helping them find that last phase of their life, and I feel so honored to do this work.
Her Interview
Ten minutes with Marnie
01What do you attribute your success to?
I have this thing in my heart where I believe that God will only bless me if I freely give my blessings away. I naturally have to help people. When I retired, my biggest concern was that I wasn't going to be helping people anymore, because I just naturally have to do it. I wanted to make sure that I could still use my degree in a useful way, and that's what I'm doing. I also had an incredible support system. When I shared my idea with my cousin while sitting on her couch, she believed in me immediately and said if I built the clinical aspect of the program, she'd build the business around it. We're best friends and have been our whole lives. We spent the first year building together, and when we were doing so well, she turned over the keys to me. I've also learned that when something scares me, that's how I know I need to do it. You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And honestly, I did really deep work on myself to understand my own patterns with love addiction, love avoidance, and codependence. That work changed what I was attracted to in men and changed the kind of men that were attracted to me. I leveled up to a relationship I didn't even know existed, and that's what I teach now.
02What are the biggest challenges or opportunities in your field right now?
When I started matchmaking, I assumed it would be like working as a psychotherapist, where we always consult other therapists to get as much information as possible for the best interest of our client. I thought matchmaking would be the same, considering clients pay $30,000 to $65,000 for a contract. I assumed we should do everything in our power to find them matches. So I started calling other matchmakers to find matches, and they charge money for the matches. They charge other matchmakers, like for a very attractive woman, they would charge me $1,000 or $2,000 for the referral. And I said, that's bullshit. I'm not doing that, and I'm not paying that. That's when I started my own Facebook group, my own singles Facebook group. I now have over 3,200 people in there. I run free singles events every week, and I love it. My entire database are people that I know from my events. The last event I had 135 people show up. So the biggest challenge was the unethical practices in the matchmaking industry, but I turned that into an opportunity by creating my own community-based approach.
03What values are most important to you in your work and personal life?
The most important value to me is helping people and giving freely. I have this thing in my heart where I believe that God will only bless me if I freely give my blessings away. I have to do it, it's just natural for me. When I was working with the Native American population at Lighthouse Recovery and they wanted me to put 30 of my patients out on the street overnight, I couldn't do it. These were people, they were human beings who wanted a shot at life, and they were working and maintaining jobs and maintaining sobriety, and I had these patients for over 90 days. My husband and I paid out of our own pockets for them to have housing for 30 days so I could find housing for them and transfer them. That situation went against everything that I stand for. I also have very strict boundaries, especially around respecting my clients' time. I will not be late for my clients. And in my personal life, I've learned the importance of doing deep work on yourself. I had to understand my own patterns and change what I was attracted to. I also believe that anybody can do it at any time. I went back to school at age 50 with zero education, nothing but a high school diploma, and I was brand new sober. I want to give people the example and the hope that anybody can do it at any time.
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