Maureen Scanlon

I would say it's 100% relatability and authenticity. There's no judgment. I am a no-judgment zone, and I've had so many coaching clients and podcast guests say to me after we finish, 'Oh my gosh, I told you things I've never told anybody before.' I think it's about presenting myself as a safe place. I've made a lot of mistakes myself, and I can genuinely relate to what people are feeling. The difference between empathy and sympathy is huge, and I'm very empathetic to where people are in life. We all make mistakes, but we're also exactly where we're supposed to be. Nobody wants to be told everything they're doing wrong because we're already our own worst critics. I'm not going to reinforce that. Instead, I'm going to remind people that they're amazing. I'm going to help them see that they already have the tools within themselves that make them great and capable of success. I think that's what really draws clients in, not only for coaching, but also for the podcasting and the readers of my books.

The best career advice I ever received came during a call with someone on LinkedIn about business. She told me, 'You can't run and you can't swim. You can't have one foot on the beach and one foot in the ocean. It's like a business. You have to do one or the other. You can't succeed being halfway in.' That really hit me. I realized that if I don't believe in my business 100%, how do I expect my clients to? It was ironic because right after that call, my boss called me for my review - I got the best review I'd had in 26 years with the company, they were singing my praises - and I told them, 'That's great, thank you for that, but I need to let you know I'm gonna quit now. I'm gonna retire.' Everything just sort of fell into place. I think that's the big thing in our lives - things will always work out for you. I tell my children, my friends, everybody I meet: nothing meant for you will ever miss you. So when it seems like an opportunity didn't happen that you wanted, or a house you wanted to buy didn't happen, that's okay, because nothing meant for you will ever miss you, so you gotta keep going forward.

I always say my coaching is for my younger self. You know, if I could just go back and tell my younger self, it would definitely be to not look for outside validation, but inside validation, and do the things that bring you joy, stay in joy, stay focused on what matters to you. We come alone, we leave alone, and that dash in between is life. Because we get busy with life and getting married early like I did and having kids, we then become these people pleasers and codependents like I was, where I thought I had to earn love. If I had loved myself the way that my dogs love me, if I had done that from the beginning, my whole life would have been much different, although I needed the challenges. I have granddaughters who are 14 and 12, and that's what I tell them all the time. I'm like, you know what? Wait. Don't jump into anything that involves anybody else. Take care of yourself first. Do what feels good for you, because when you get that confidence moving forward, you will not allow anyone to do anything to you that is mistreatment or that doesn't serve you. So, 'you first' would be my short version of my explanation.

I think the main thing is understanding the difference between life coaching and therapy. And I'm so pleased that the stigma around mental health has lifted. We don't have to hide it anymore. People are very open about taking care of their mental health or even getting on medication if needed. But the difference between therapy and life coaching is really where the struggle lies for life coaches. What I always say is: therapy uncovers, and life coaching recovers. I've had people come to me for coaching after being in therapy for 20 years, and after six months of coaching, they're a whole new person. Sometimes repetitive talking about things isn't always the way to solve them. It's important to know and understand the issues, because you can't fix what you don't know. But when it comes to coaching, people are often looking for movement and action. I also think it's important to find a coach who's been through something similar to what you've experienced. There has to be a connection and commonality. There are things I wouldn't coach on, because they're not in my wheelhouse. I stick with relationships and dating because that's where I failed the most and learned the most. I'm not going to do corporate business coaching because that's not where my passion is. Therapy helps uncover behaviors and patterns and gives you understanding. Coaching is about moving you forward. My coaching method is called the TRUST Method. It's a healing-centered relationship framework focused on emotional awareness, communication, and personal transformation. That sounds very wordy, but really what people want is action. On the very first call, people usually ask me, 'Are you actually going to help me do something about it?' People are tired of only talking about their problems. They want steps. They want accountability. I set goals with my clients, but I also remind them of the successes they've already had. If someone only hears, 'You need to do better, you need to fix this,' it becomes frustrating. Nobody wants to feel like they're constantly failing. I like to reinforce someone's greatness and focus on what's good about them, not just what's broken. I believe people have to start by saying, 'I'm capable. I'm worthy. I can do this.' Once they have that confidence, then the goals and transformation become effective. One of the biggest struggles with coaching is getting people to commit - financially, emotionally, and time-wise. Everything I do is online through video, so it's very accessible. But coaching isn't regulated by insurance, which means people often see it as an extra expense. And I always come back to this question: can you afford to keep living the way you are now if it's clearly not working for you?

A hundred percent trust. I have a little word that I made up, and it's called Truspecty. So it's trust, respect, and honesty. I always say we have to have Truspecty with our friends, our family, our partners, our co-workers. I just think those three things are so important. And it's funny, in relationships, I always tell people love is secondary, and they're like, 'What? That's what everybody's looking for - love.' But first, you have to have trust, respect, and honesty before you can really feel, receive, or give love.