Melissa Sousa, MSW, ASW

I attribute my success to pushing very hard in a male-dominated field and working to prove I deserve to be at the table. People often ask me why I don't just go work for a women's team where it would be easier, but I always say, why would I do that? I could go there and I know I can do it there, but can I do it here and still prove that I can go to the same extent that my male counterparts can? A lot of us women in this field, we push very hard and work insane hours - probably work 2 or 3 times as hard as the men - so that we can still prove we deserve this job. A lot of it is just trying to make sure I can keep myself at the table with everybody and get the same recognition as others. So a lot of it is just fueled by wanting to have the same respect.

The best advice I ever received came from Rachel (last name starts with B), who was the first women's minor league coach for baseball. In one of her interviews, she made a comment that has always stuck with me. She said something like, if I'm comfortable in what I'm doing, then I'm not getting any better. But if I'm nervous, then I know that I'm challenging myself and working harder. It's both funny and good advice. It's a good point - if I'm not anxious or nervous over what I'm pushing for, then I know I'm probably not going as hard as I could. But if I'm comfortable, then I know I'm being lazy. So it always reminds me that if I'm feeling too comfortable, then I'm not pushing my boundaries, and I'm not pushing to get better and do better and make better decisions for these guys too. I always try to live by that - you push as hard as you can.

Networking is one of the most important things. There's so many of us that want to help other people get into this kind of area, but if everyone's too afraid to reach out and talk to us, it's not gonna change. I'm very big on this - a lot of people have reached out to me, and I'm trying to help them find jobs and give them ways into other places, because I struggled to get into all of these places that I've been, and I didn't have someone guiding me. So I always tell them, hey, if you need this, or if you're applying for this job, let me know - I'll reach out to people I know. It's the same thing we tell college students - you have professors, you have all of us on panels, use your networking resources, because unfortunately, the way our job market has become, a lot of it is you gotta know somebody to get a job. Find people and reach out. Most people in sports are willing to talk about their jobs, you just have to reach out and be nice. Maybe don't DM people on Instagram first - maybe hit LinkedIn first - but if someone messages me, I'm not gonna say no. I feel wrong when someone's just looking for advice. A lot of it is sometimes you need to do word of mouth, because then we can go, hey, look at this person's resume, at least get them through to an interview. I've done that a couple times - I know this person, I'm putting in a good word, can you at least get them an interview? They may not get hired, but at least get them an interview.

The biggest challenges right now are what's been going on the last few years in the world. A lot of our players are either not from this country, or their families aren't from this country, so we're dealing with a lot of them dealing with personal stress around those kinds of things. Some of them don't get paid an insane amount of money, so now we're trying to help them handle the way the economy's gone with the lower amount of money they're getting. Some are here not making a lot of money and trying to turn around and help take care of their own family - whether it's their own kids, or their parents or grandparents. There's also a lot going on with mental health in the world lately. A lot of the policies and rules taking place are impacting quite literally everybody. Then you have the insane surge of the internet trying to tell everyone what is going on in the world, because it's all AI, but none of it's actually accurate. I had a 16-year-old tell me that TikTok told him depression wasn't real. A lot of us are dealing with what's going on in the world and just trying to keep them level-headed and safe. We also have the issue with travel coming right now - we're flying out of SFO and trying to make sure our players can get there and get back. We even have a staff member who's not traveling because he's pretty sure he's gonna get stopped because he's not from here, even though he has his paperwork. Just trying to help people find their resources - it's impacting everybody across the board.

Empathy is huge and very important to me. Especially with what I do as a living, I think a lot of people forget that players are pros, they're making money, they have deals and things like that, but people are forgetting that they're also still people and there's still things going on in their lives. It was easy for me coming into this job already having that mindset, because I was already working in mental health facilities and underserved areas, so I was used to already being empathetic. Then coming in and hearing all of their stories and giving them the space to have them talk about what's going on in their lives has also been important, because I think a lot of them haven't had that since they've been in this kind of area. I'm also trying to do that in my personal life too - I have friends and family where I'm like, hey, I may not know what's going on, but I need to give you the same type of empathy and care that I would at work, because I would want that back too from my friends. My parents always told me, you have to treat others how you want to be treated, and you have to remember that where you're at is not where someone else is at too. Family is also very important - I spend so much time at my job that I kind of call it my second family, and I treat them as if they're my family. Some of these kids come from very difficult families, so they just need someone to treat them as if they're family. I've had players come over and we've done dinner together, or I've gone to one of their graduations. Sometimes they need more than just 'cool, go to school, see you next week.' Family outside of work is very important for me - I try to see my family at least once a month.