Michelle Burge

I have spent the last 24 years working with families through the process of contested and complicated estate, trust and guardianship issues in both Kansas and Missouri. That means I have had a front row seat at conference room tables and in courtrooms as family dynamics, difficult relationships and grief tear families apart upon the death or disability of a loved one. Most of us understand that over the next several years and beyond, there will be an unprecedented transfer of wealth from the Baby Boomers to the generations below, as well as a need for their care and support at levels our system, and the families facing the system, are ill prepared to navigate. Some of that intergenerational shift will work with ease, but some families will face (and this is just a brief outline): conflicts; resentments among siblings; difficult relationships with step families; second, third and fourth marriages; complex and at times, poorly drafted trust language; sorely out-of-date documents and plans; financial exploitation by caregivers, scammers and other family members; differing family objectives on the care of loved ones via nursing homes or at home long-term care; a continued rise in mental health issues in all parts of society; and a long list of other foreseeable, but difficult problems families do and will face that our legal and care systems do not have the capacity to keep up with.

My practice has been exclusively devoted to those kinds of estate, trust and guardianship issues. I enjoy looking for creative solutions and working with other attorneys, trust companies, care managers, mediators and the courts to find ways to help families navigate the loss or disability of a loved one when things become contentious or complicated. There is a storm brewing in this area of law, and I'm happy to have been in the trenches for the last couple of decades.

Moreover, my practice has left me pondering grief and loss and how we collectively work through major life events and transitions together. I have devoted much energy the last several years to reading and writing about grief, and how heartache and losses can shape our relationships, our goals and our plans. Because of that, my professional and personal experiences over the last quarter century have strengthened my passion and belief that sharing stories of grief and loss, while also opening up about the fears, disappointments and unknowns that surround difficult illnesses, diagnoses, and death, make us all better and more prepared to navigate their effects on our families and relationships.

I want people to know that in music, art, movies, poetry, and our greatest novels loss and death have always been center-stage. We universally love stories of humanity, but seem to struggle so much in coming to terms with our own. I have observed through my practice, and my life, that most people find strength and hope when they learn to own their individual stories, and in doing so, they become able to lean into their own narrative and guide their own process, path and outcome. Which opens the door to others doing the same.

I am hoping to find ways to continue to explore how grief impacts relationships and the benefits of telling our stories, and listening to others, in the years to come.