Neilia Brown

I would attribute it to my resilience and tenacity. I get knocked down, I have plenty of failures, but rather than saying that's the end of the story, I say that's a tool. I do kind of an after-action review to find out what went well and what didn't, and I face the challenges rather than letting that internal critic say 'you failed, this was terrible, you should just give up right now.' I think we all have those voices, so learning to quiet that voice and ask 'okay, this didn't go well, why, and what can I do next time?' is crucial. You just keep going even when you feel overwhelmed with whatever is going on around you or you're just not able to get your arms around something. I think it's so important, especially for business owners. I like to say that I'm a small business evangelist - I think everybody should own their business at least once in their lives, even if it's just a lemonade stand, because it forces you to grow into places that you never thought you could go. When I was in LA, I had to work with film producers who are notoriously narcissistic and sociopathic, and learning how to deal with them and set boundaries with them was really scary. Yet I did it, and I feel like I'm a stronger person for it, I feel like I'm a better equipped business person for it.

The best advice came from my dad. I was freaking out saying 'oh my gosh, I gotta have this, I gotta have that. I don't know how to do this, Dad, I don't know how to do that' - I had imposter syndrome. And he said, 'you don't have to know everything. You just have to know really good people who do know what you need to know.' I still find that to be so true. The other piece of advice that was really great came from my husband, who had been in business for himself for years. I was freaking out again saying 'how am I gonna do this? I'm gonna have my own business, I can't do this, what if I fail.' I was like 'okay, I need to get an office, I need to get office furniture, I need to get a new computer, whatever.' And he was like, 'listen, do you have a pencil? Yes. Do you have a computer and a keyboard? Yes, I do. Congratulations, you're in business.' He was like, 'you don't have to make it front-loaded and make it so overwhelming initially. You can just start out and sort of build on something very basic.' That was a great piece of advice. Oh, and one last one - I would hear my husband on the phone negotiating with film producers, and if they were being really unrealistic or giving him an insulting offer, he would say 'you know what, that's okay. I can't do it for that, but not everybody can afford me.' And that's okay. I always have loved that - it's okay, not everybody can afford my level of service.

There's still gender inequality, and I noticed that more when I moved to Indianapolis than when I was in LA. I would be talking to men who were business owners, and I got the sense that they were just sort of entertaining me, they weren't really planning to use me. What I would tell a young woman is don't be afraid to use your voice. Don't be afraid to tell these people, particularly if it's a man that you're talking to - don't undersell yourself. Don't allow imposter syndrome to take over. Trust in your skills. And even if you don't feel totally confident, you gotta fake that confidence, you gotta let them know you know what you're doing. I still get imposter syndrome - I've interviewed really powerful women like Amber Cox of The Fever, Kelly Stacey, Amy Kandrak who was the first woman to raise 5 million dollars in an investment round here, and Debbie Knott the newscaster. I would ask these women 'how do you deal with imposter syndrome? Do you still have it?' And they would say yeah. I was amazed - I was like 'what? You guys have it too?' I think as women we're more prone to that. I think men have a different mindset. A woman looks at a job description and says 'well, I don't have everything, so I better not apply.' My husband's friend was like 'I don't have any of these things, but I have a lot of experience, and I'm smart,' so he went, he got the job, and he just learned everything he needed to know. That audacity - I feel like sometimes we hold ourselves back from it. You don't want to misrepresent yourself, you don't want somebody mistaking confidence for competence, but believe in your skills. I do have 20 years of experience, I do have something important to say and to help other women who are in business.

I would say social media marketing is the biggest challenge. I wish that I were more savvy in that area. I'm trying to develop my skills - I'm posting on LinkedIn, but I haven't looked into things like Hootsuite that can post everything on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn with a schedule and all of that. That is something that I would love to learn in my copious spare time.

I think honesty is for sure one of my most important values. For example, I had a client who was having some cash flow issues. She had cut me a check for my services but asked me not to deposit it right away. Well, I waited a little bit, but then I deposited it, and it bounced, so she incurred some fees. I called her right away and said 'I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking,' and I said 'I will cover all of your bank fees. I don't want you paying for that.' That's that kind of honesty - saying hey, I made a mistake, let me make it right. That's really an important value to me. And then empathy. I think we need more of it in the world, and if we are able to give each other a little more grace and kind of step into each other's shoes, I think that's a great characteristic and something that I value greatly. My big pet peeve used to be when somebody would cut me off and then go below the speed limit - I used to get apoplectic about it. What I've learned to do is say 'okay, that person just found out that their child got a really bad diagnosis, and the last thing they're worried about is the speed limit.' I tell myself those stories because I do think we're all in the same boat. Empathizing with somebody is, I think, one of the greatest tools you can have.