Pamela Greene

I attribute my success to primarily three things; my passion to serve others, life lessons, and most importantly, my faith in God. Seeking out and defining your "Why", is the only absolute you have control over. I was an elementary student when I decided the world was an unjust and painful place. I remember being awestruck when I read about two amazing powerful, brave women who not only saved lives, but also founded organizations like the Red Cross. These women, Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale, were famous battlefield nurses and my heroines. I read every book I could get my hands on about them and every paper I wrote gushed about their lives. As an empath I saw nursing as a way to 'fight back", against the wrongs and be part of the answer and not the problem. At recess I chased the other children, pretending to suture and mend bones of injured 'soldiers'. The other kids thought I was weird. But I didn't care. I was answering a fierce desire inside my soul to help those in pain. Looking back, I had already started visualizing myself stepping into my purpose. Today, I do work on a different kind of battlefield - the mind. Helping students who have lost their hope, their way, their sense of self - but want to succeed. I help those struggling with anxiety who bully themselves with their negating self-talk or have negative looping thought patterns that deplete energy and motivation. I love helping parents and teens bridge communication and relational gaps because many times they just don't understand each other. The kids are frustrated because they want to be autonomous and seen as adults, and parents don't know how to help their children and they know they don't yet have executive function skills. Parents are overwhelmed because they're acting as their kid's frontal lobe - which isn't developed yet. This causes conflict. If students are in the fight or flight response, they are wrestling against their own brain for focus and a sense of safety. Being in the fight or flight will, unfortunately, hinder learning. When I work with families it's important that I connect with the child and act as their advocate. They feel safe and more easily able to form new habits, problem-solve, and move forward. I also support parents by stepping in as "the heavy". I hold students accountable through positive affirmation and coaching strategies which help them habitualize responses to create systems that strengthen executive function skills and shifts to taking ownership. Adults can relax and "take a step back". I share with parents that if they are running with the football, their child's not going to pick it up and run with it. Students strengthen executive function skills - time-management, planning, focus, organization, task initiation, and emotional balance.

The best career advice I would give comes from what I've learned from my own journey. I was a freshman in college, and I was stuck and shut down. One evening I was talking with my best friend about a traumatic event I had gone through. - I was in survival mode, barely functioning, still reeling from the curve balls that seemed to come one after the other - only to take me back to the first trauma in my mind. She told me, "You've got to figure it out - there is no white knight coming to save you". I'm so thankful she took a no-nonsense approach because it prompted me to take action! I rode a bus downtown, got a job, saved my money, and eventually bought a car. During the summer I worked as an RA so I could stay on campus. I learned many things from that season. It equipped and empowered me, so I no longer felt or saw myself as a victim. It also taught me that in life we have two choices - become bitter, shut down, and stay stuck until you tire of it or forgive (which releases you) learn from it and grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient. Of course, I went through therapy, but for a decade, I fixated on the "why" question - which perpetuated a view of myself as victimized and formed cycle of depression and anxiety. It wasn't until I got tired of the miserable pattern of ups and downs. I identified my triggers, and changed everything - my job, habits, friends, music I listened to. This resulted in positive changes in how I viewed myself and how I allowed others to treat me. You can literally change the chemical makeup of your brain and body by intentionally developing healthier habits, mindsets, and responses and making them habitual. Your thoughts cause feelings and feelings cause actions. The key was self-awareness, self-honesty, problem-solving, and change! Today, I talk to a lot of students who have been through drama and trauma, and they are stuck and challenged with self-motivation, task initiation, focus, anxiety, and emotional balance. I love working with students who are ready to change or are tired of the negative patterns. I love seeing the hopeful, positive energy when they break through and then they are off and running to pursue their dreams.

The first step is to have a strong foundation - an ability to self-reflect, having already identified who you are, what you stand for, what your purpose is. Otherwise, you will likely struggle with self-comparison with others. I would tell her to keep 'the main thing the main thing' and focus on the areas she's most passionate about. Visualize yourself making a difference, what would that look and feel like.? Pay attention to how that made you feel during that exercise. If it adds energy, then it is likely it is the direction you should go in. I believe every person on this earth has a purpose unique to that individual. I am thankful for my experiences - positive and negative, because it is what has brought me here. I would also tell her that burnout is real, so she absolutely must have a fierce passion, build healthy boundaries, and protect herself. I've been burned out so many times. I feel like the key is not avoiding getting burned out (because it will happen) but being self-aware, paying attention to your body and your brain. If you start feeling tired and starting to lose the enjoyment you used to feel- the fire that used to motivate you is feeling like an energetical drain, then it's time to take a break. I deal with burnout by changing things. I learn a new strategy, or adopt a new perspective, or do something that adds to your psyche. Get plenty of rest, listen to your body, relax and heal - having a growth mindset also gives you hope and keeps you from being stagnant. Hope is non-negotiable, and your clients need hope. If you're an empty vessel, you have nothing to give. Most importantly, don't come into agreement with anyone who tries to make you feel like you're not smart enough, like you're not (fill in the blank). It doesn't matter because they have their life and purpose and you have yours. There are no two identical people, so do not negate yourself to be like someone else. I also believe those of us who are counselors and coaches have experienced trauma themselves. That's sort of a double-edged sword - it gives you purpose. On the other hand, it also brings a whole variety of negatives, doubts, and handed-down dysfunction that sticks to your soul and tries to pull you away from reaching your destiny. If you let it conquer you it will keep coming back and hinder forward progress and learning. You should change negative self-talk and self-defeating thought patterns to positive ones. Keep remembering your 'Why". This world needs overcomers who have been to battle and the scars to prove it.

Two of the challenges are knowing when a person is coachable and helping people deal with tech overuse and addiction. There's an old saying in coaching that "You can't coach someone if they don't want it". I give a potential client an assignment. If its not completed, they're not ready. They won't be able to receive it and you won't be able to effectively coach them. It's important because if you spend a lot of time trying to help someone that doesn't want help, or another way is to say that is that they're not coachable. Beyond that, the biggest challenge right now is technology overwhelm. Unfortunately, there's a correlation they're finding between technology and anxiety and depression. In fact, there have been lawsuits coming out about how developers intentionally built apps knowing the challenges teens with ADHD have. Students are more susceptible to tech addition and overwhelm because their brains are developing until the twenties and they gain a dopamine hits from tech, which is taking away from the normal or natural ways the brain receives dopamine. These could be interactions with friends and family, or getting outside, playing sports, getting vitamin D from the sun which strengthens the immune system. But when a person is only on the phone or the iPad, they're depriving their body or brain what it needs to thrive. I'm interested in that because movement is an important part of taking care of physical and mental wellness. I have first graders who are exhibiting symptoms of tech addiction. The good news is, its reversible! There's tremendous opportunity to help students and young adults manage increasing distractions, anxiety, and demands on their attention in our fast-paced digital world. It seems everyone I see is overwhelmed. Another underlying cause is their mindset - self talk. How are they framing their life, future, purpose or lack thereof? We flip their perspective to empowering instead of energetically depleting. Then we've got something sustainable to work with!

Life is a journey of choices. The values most important to me are authenticity, integrity, honesty, empathy. resilience, and perseverance. Be thankful and continually forgive. Never give up on yourself or others - at the same time respect where they are on their journey. Be kind to yourself and others. Many I work with are what I call "bullying themselves" with negative self-talk and self-comparisons. I believe that our purpose on this earth is to support and edify each other, because how else can we build a better world? We have two choices - be part of the solution or the problem. Either we can shut down and become bitter, or we can become stronger, more resilient, and we turn around and help somebody else. I really prefer the second one. It's honoring those who have put their lives out there for me, like our teachers, our law enforcement, the EMT workers. For me, it's about doing what we can. Whenever I see a veteran, I'll smile and say, 'Thank you so much for your service,' and shake their hand. The Vietnam veterans especially. I remember when I was very young, hearing on the radio how US citizens were spitting on soldiers as then got off their plane, just having returned to the country they so bravely and traumatically defended. I thought that was the most horrific thing that I have ever heard of, and it sticks with me. I make it a point to tell Vietnam Veterans "Welcome home", because they never heard that. I also value self-care and getting outside in nature, slowing down, spending time with family, taking walks, being creative, having water balloon fights out in the park during an outing, grilling peaches on a hibachi - fun, outdoor activities. Regain the life energy that mundane everyday routines sucked out of you like energetical vampires. If any of this resonated with you, I would love to connect! Schedule a strategy call and let's talk about your goals, dreams, and get you moving forward!