Samantha-Ann Hagger, MA

I've had a lot of good supervisors, but at the same time, you have those bad ones too. I've had a supervisor in the past that told me that you weren't supposed to have empathy for people, and I'm like, I also have empathy - that just doesn't make sense. But then I talked to someone here when I was going through training, and they were like, you can't have too much empathy, and I appreciated that because I was told I had too much empathy. I feel like being in my position, empathy is a really big part of it, especially with the children that come into residential that feel like their parents might not love them, or they have trauma or have tried to end their lives or something. They need you to have that empathy because they don't feel like they have that love or that connection to other people, so they need that empathy. Learning from both good and bad leadership has shaped who I am as a therapist.

Keep your resources that you've had throughout the years, always ask for help, and take self-care. I know it sounds silly, but you can burn out in the field because you tend to carry your client's baggage - you can carry all their emotions and it'll weigh you down. Be patient with yourself, because changes happen over time. I started grad school in March of 2016, and before that I got my bachelor's in Human Services because I originally wanted to be a lawyer. I never really thought I was gonna be a therapist, but I had an internship at the Salvation Army of Syracuse working with girls that were in transitional houses that were pregnant and parenting, and I saw that they needed help to keep their families together, and that's where I kind of got the idea to go into therapy.

Make sure you explore all three different degrees - whether it's social work, whether it's marriage and family, whether it's licensed professional counseling majors - because they all do different things. Research the licensing career path, and I know that sounds silly, but a lot of people don't know how they all work when they go to get licensed, and every state is different too. Understand what supervising is, how many hours you need, and what goes towards them as well. With my job, I struggled to get supervision and I didn't have a lot of people to be able to supervise me, and I had to pay out of pocket. Yes, it makes me kind of unique in that circumstance, but I did struggle to pay for supervision because I had to pay out of pocket. That made it harder for me to gather those hours and to get the family system hours, because I had to have a certain amount of relationship hours with families or couples. That's kind of crucial because a lot of people don't know what's the difference between the three degrees and the requirements for the states as well.

One of the biggest challenges I've faced is being told I'm too nice. A parent once requested a different counselor because I was too nice - they wanted me to be a harder, stern counselor, but I feel like I should offer that same warm, comforting environment. Another major challenge is miscommunication with parents. I recently had parents think that I was pushing all the information back on them, that they were the problem, when I was just trying to gather information as the client was getting transferred to me. Sometimes parents can think that they're the problem, and by any means, sometimes in a family system it's a little bit of everything, but that was never the issue. I've also had struggles with CPS situations - I've come home crying because they didn't do anything when they should have, and I've been physically attacked by a client when I was pregnant after calling CPS. On the opportunity side, there's a lot of room for growth in my field. I can become a supervisor and supervise other therapists, I can become a clinical psychologist and do testing, and once I'm fully licensed I can open my own practice. My workplace offers tuition assistance and people are moving up into counselor roles from direct client work.

I think honesty is crucial - my kid clients are like, I like that you're so blunt, and I tell them, to be honest with you, I have no reason to lie to you because that's just gonna delay your process, and I want you to be honest too. I want you to have a safe environment, so why would I lie to you? Trust is very important because obviously if the client doesn't trust me, if my kids don't trust me, how is life gonna be beneficial? Safety is good too - especially in therapy, I want my kids to have a nice trust environment. I want everybody to feel loved. I want my clients to feel loved, have a loving atmosphere. They always say my office feels very warm and welcoming, and I want my kids to feel that same way. I had my clients help me try to tell me how they wanted my office to be decorated. I just kind of want that same feeling for everybody.