Sonji Kirk

I attribute my success to my faith, staying grounded, and praying. Honestly, sometimes I don't even know how I make it through. There are days when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and don't feel like doing anything, but I still get up and push because I have people depending on me. I have to make sure my mom is eating and taken care of. Even when I was depressed for about 10 years after I hurt myself, I was still steadily going to school. I just could not give up on myself. My brain just would not let me stop, even when I was facing the darkness in a corner. I didn't know why at the time, but I see now why it didn't let me stop. It's about showing up for myself and not giving up, even when things are incredibly hard.

The best career advice I've ever received is: don't take things personal, it's only business. I know that might sound trivial, but it's not for me. When I got promoted to my current position at Amazon, I was competing against hundreds and hundreds of people, and only about 39 of us got the job in the first and second batch. When I got there, I had what you call imposter syndrome. I was surrounded by brilliant people and thought, 'What am I doing here? I shouldn't be over here.' But I came to realize that I have the same talent as these people, it's just that my talent is different. They hired me for something different, and I had to hone in on that. When they give you feedback, they're trying to develop you. They might have seen something in you that you didn't see in yourself, but you have the skills and they're trying to develop you. You can't take their feedback personal. I really was taking the feedback personally because so much was coming at me at one time. I felt like I was being personally attacked, like I just couldn't get it right. But this was a new position they made up, and there was a lot going on. I really had to stop taking things personal so I could level myself out. I was used to doing something good all the time for years, being praised and doing well. Then I got in a space where I wasn't the lead on anything because I didn't know anything to be the lead. You gotta be led to be a leader! I had to learn to stop taking things personal, understand that business is business, and learn how to adapt. It was hard, but I did it.

I would tell young women that knowledge is power. If this is something you want to get into, please research it first. Take the time out to understand what you're getting into, because anybody can say they want to do something, but you need to really know what it entails. For example, with nursing, I thought I wanted to be a nurse, and I still do nursing work, but nursing in a fast-paced climate like an emergency room is not for me. I could see somebody having a heart attack and I'd be freaking out right with them, and that's not good for the patient or for me. I would ask young women to see if they could shadow someone to see what the field is really about before they just jump in. I've seen plenty of people go into nursing and it was not for them. Unfortunately, I was one of them. You can waste a lot of time in that field if you get into something you don't want to do, when you could be doing something much more that would make you happy. Look for a career, not a job. I would really encourage them to try to do something career-wise and not just have a job, because you want to try to be happy when you go to work. Even though I was a nurse's aide or med tech, I was happy doing it once I got into it. But I feel like I got a job right now at Amazon, not a career. I don't like selling cars. I got into it because it was a new innovation for Amazon and I wanted to be a part of it, but do I want to stay? I'm not sure. So my advice is: research thoroughly, shadow if you can, and look for a career that will make you happy, not just a job.

The biggest challenge for me right now is juggling everything. I take care of my mom, I'm going to school, and I have my job. That is a lot. Then I have my other family members depending on me as well. My grandson is in the hospital and needs a heart. My son passed away about 30 years ago, and the mother is dependent upon me, so it's like I can't catch a break. My grandson just got a heart pump on the 25th of last month, so he's stable now, but he does need a heart. On top of all that, I'm trying to run an online business that I just started, and I didn't know all this was going to happen. So the challenge is really about balance and managing all these responsibilities while trying to move forward professionally and personally.

Family and loyalty are the most important values to me, both in my personal life and at work. In my personal life, it's all about family. At work, it's about loyalty with your team and building trust. I believe in having your coworkers know that they can depend on you. They might not like you, but they know they can depend on you, and that you will be loyal to them as their coworker. I'm very big on that. You show me who you are by whether I can depend on you or not. At work now, there are people who won't even touch cases because they're waiting on me and another person to come in, knowing that we would do it. They might not like me, some of them might not like me, but they know Sonji will get it done when she gets in there. I can see it, even if they don't say it. You don't like me, but you're dependent on me, you need me. So I'd rather be needed than liked.