Susan Wessman

“I could have had an abortion and not had you.”

A Success Story

I was raised as a brain-damaged child. I was bullied by my family, especially my mother and older brother. I was told on a regular basis that I would not make anything of my life because I was too dumb to learn. I was not allowed to learn new things because my family—everyone except my father—was afraid I would fail and of how it would affect me psychologically.

I was not allowed to have a bike or learn how to ride one. But then one day, a neighbor decided it was time I learned. He put me on his bike, gave me a good shove, and away I went. I crashed it in my front yard, but I was okay. It did not scare me—I was just happy to have finally ridden a bike by myself. I never did get a bike of my own.

A Severe Speech Defect

In addition, I had a severe speech defect. I was tongue-tied. I could not form certain sounds or pronounce words because my tongue was literally tied to the bottom of my mouth. I could not stick my tongue out, so I could not pronounce many letters properly. I was constantly ridiculed by my older brother and my mother because of my inability to speak clearly.

The Bedwetting

Then there was the bedwetting. I wet the bed until I was in my 20s. It was eventually discovered that I had a congenital bladder defect. The good news was that it could be treated. In my mid-20s, taking a daily medication stopped the bedwetting.

However, before it was corrected, my mother put me in diapers, telling me that if I was going to wet the bed like a baby, I would be treated like one—and I was.

A Severe Learning Disability

In addition to my speech defect and bedwetting, I had a severe learning disability. I attended a regular school and was held back in first grade because I could not learn at the expected pace.

I do not remember those early school years, thankfully.

In elementary school, I was removed from class so the principal could have a discussion with other students about my inability to speak properly—and possibly my bedwetting. I was teased immensely because the other students did not understand why I could not speak like they could. Upon returning to class, the teasing eventually stopped.

In junior high, I received speech lessons, but to no avail. The speech therapists could not determine why I could not speak properly, and they eventually gave up. I spent three years in junior high taking private speech lessons, which would later prove to be beneficial.

However, the harassment continued within my own family, especially from my mother, who was the source of the most severe psychological abuse. My father often had to step in to stop it.

My speech therapy ended when I entered high school. My grades continued to decline because I struggled to learn. I regularly stayed after school for tutoring, but to no avail. Science and math were my worst subjects. My best class was English—I understood English composition quite well (and would later become an author).

As long as I was earning Ds, my family was satisfied. That was all they cared about. When I occasionally brought home Cs or even a B, there was no praise or encouragement. It was as if they did not believe I could do better.

My Father Suddenly Died

In 1969, the worst-case scenario happened. I was 16, a junior in high school, and my father suddenly died. My coach and protector was gone—totally unexpected. I was not allowed to go see him in the hospital. My family did not want me there for fear of how it would affect me, so I was home alone the night he died.

Things then became much worse. My mother and I did not get along before his death, and we did not get along afterward. I was constantly reminded that I did not know anything and that I was not intelligent.

Then the “I could have had an abortion” comment was made. I was devastated. I had nowhere to turn and no one to talk to except my older sister. She tried to intervene and get our mother to apologize, but my mother said I deserved it. We grew very far apart.

Learning to Speak

At age 21 or 22, I finally learned why I could not speak properly, and a dentist was able to correct it. My tongue was released (clipped), and I had to learn how to pronounce sounds correctly. I was on my own, but I used the speech therapy I had learned earlier. It came in very handy. It took many months to learn to speak properly.

I Wanted to Learn

In my mid-20s, I wanted to become an EMT. I still did not know why my father had died; I did not understand heart attacks.

I wanted more. I wanted to learn.

Becoming an EMT was a huge battle because I had difficulty learning. My police officer brother, who knew the EMT instructors, did his best to keep me out of the EMT class. Luckily, he failed.

The EMT Course Would Change My Life

The EMT course changed my life. I learned how to learn. I taught myself. It was not easy, but once I found a method that worked, my grades soared. My brother was in complete disbelief that his little sister was not “so dumb after all,” which is what he actually told me.

The EMT course changed my life. I discovered I was capable of learning, and after that, I could not get enough of it. I could not learn fast enough.

Unfortunately, physical limitations related to lifting prevented me from continuing as an EMT, but the training and education took me to bigger and better opportunities.

I used my newfound knowledge as an EMT to become a CNA, then a CMA, then a medical transcriptionist in Japan and later in the United States. I also married the love of my life.

I Proved Her Wrong

Eighteen years ago, I graduated from vocational nursing school—something my mother told me I absolutely could not do and was not suited for.

I proved her wrong.

She was there when I walked across the stage and received my nursing pin. She was in complete shock that her “dumb daughter” (as she still called me) had graduated as a nurse.

She never accepted my nursing accomplishment. I was always her “dumb daughter.”

She never apologized for the abortion comment. For all those years, she believed I deserved it, and no one was able to convince her otherwise.

Overcoming Great Adversity

This story is not about bashing my mother. It is about overcoming great adversity, trials, and tribulations. It is about giving hope to others who may be experiencing something similar in their own way. Someone reading this may have a speech defect, bedwetting issues, or a learning disability—but everyone has a gift, a God-given gift. It just needs to be discovered.

I found my gift. I want to help others find theirs.

I want to give hope to children with speech defects, who are tongue-tied, or who have learning disabilities, and show them that they can overcome it all. I did. I did it on my own.

Let’s find your success story.