Tammy Adler Foeller

Most importantly, God has been the driving force, because I could not - I'm only doing this because I really know that God wants me to do it. And I would say tenacity. I always thought that leadership meant I had to have all the answers, and I think the greatest lesson for me is that leadership is about creating space so other people can thrive. Being able to do that is amazing. I'm not perfect at it, but that is what I strive for, is to just create that space for others to thrive, to reach their potential. We only exist because of volunteers, community partners, donors, and other women in recovery who are willing to help new women in recovery, and so I would say that's probably - I'm very proud of that.

The most profound lesson I learned was that I couldn't fix my daughter, I could not get her well - and none of us can fix another person. It's really an inside job. Before I knew that, I believed that I could fix her, that I could tell her what she should do, but I don't know what she should do. My experience with my daughter has been insurmountable as far as what I can bring to the table. I learned so much in Al-Anon about the disease of addiction and about removing the belief that I'm the answer to another person's disease. That was huge for me. I would not have believed that when I first walked into the rooms of Al-Anon. I was like, you're gonna tell me what to do, I'm gonna do it, and she's gonna get well. But what I found out was that none of that happens in Al-Anon, and that's not the solution. I learned so much just from being the mom of a daughter who I knew could die from the disease, but I had to be willing to learn. I've met so many moms along the way who are like, well, if she would just - and I'm like, well, she won't. You can't make her.

I would say to enter this industry with realistic expectations. It's hard - it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done. But there's so much hope, and if you can combine those - the hope with the expectations - that's key. I thought I could just change the world, but I can help impact one small piece of our community, and I'm very proud of that, and I'm very happy that we can do that. That brings me great joy. I think it's coming up with goals that are achievable, and being okay when things don't go as planned. We thought we would own houses and provide housing, and that's just not in our lane. So being flexible, being willing to change direction, pivot when necessary - I think it's really, really important. We've pivoted so many times, and it's good. It's called growing pains. It's like, oh, we're pivoting, okay, we're growing.

The biggest challenges have been building a nonprofit from the ground up - we started with 3 women who wanted to help marginalized people in our community. Learning to ask for help has been huge and really hard for me. And then also learning and trying to balance my family and work and the mission. Most recently, I had back surgery 6 weeks ago, and trying to keep going - I thought I'd be back at it in three days, but it was quite difficult. For 2 weeks, I was pretty down, physically and emotionally. On the opportunity side, I think there's great, great opportunity right now, because more than ever, the disease of addiction is destroying families, and we are in a unique spot. We're not treatment, we're not housing - we're companionship, advocacy, mentorship, friendship, community, and we can bring all of that. That's very unique. No one else - there aren't other organizations that are doing that. Collaboration is something that we can really pride ourselves on, because if a treatment facility is partnering with us, we're going to help the people that they detox and get well from the drug, but we're gonna do the other stuff. We're gonna take them to dinner, we're gonna have candle making events, we can drive them to doctor's appointments, we can be with them if they get visitation with a child. Treatment can't do that, and that's not a diss on treatment. We want to just be the continuation of what happens after treatment. We're in that gap. There's tremendous opportunity for us. Housing is a huge, huge problem in Columbus, Ohio - unhoused people are in abundance, and it's so sad. You cannot get well if you don't have a safe place to lay your head at night. It's impossible.

The most important values to me are commitment, respect, love, doing what you say that you're gonna do - following things all the way through from start to finish - and being non-judgmental. Also, making sure that people know that they're seen, and heard and loved, and that their story matters, that they matter. I have to say, most importantly, God has been the driving force in everything I do. I really know that God wants me to do this work. I also believe deeply in having fiduciary responsibility and honoring the parameters that have been set. People are like, you started it, you can do whatever you want, but I'm like, I have to have fiduciary responsibility. I can't do whatever I want, and that's really important to honor.