Tara White

I attribute my success to my mother, Sharon. Growing up, I watched her accomplish so much in a single day that I was convinced she got more hours than everyone else. Now my husband says the same thing about me. My mom taught me that if you slow down, you're missing it. You only get one shot at life, there are no do-overs, no makeups, no chance to see it all happen again. So I'd rather be tired now and say I made the most of it than regret anything later. Mom made time for everyone no matter how tired or worn down she was. She went to every teacher meeting, knew everybody, and was always present. If you want to be successful, you have to prioritize what matters and what doesn't. I'm working in a job right now where I give up so much of myself for the greater cause. Yes, I'm tired, but I'm serving myself so much longer in the long run because people will see that I can do it all and still be there for my family. You put in the work now, and 20 years from now you'll look back and say you really did something, you really created something, you did right by a lot of people. What matters to me is that when people look back, nobody will ever say I half-assed anything. Everything I did got every bit of me. I want someone to say she was all in, all the time. That's my driver.

My advice would be to act as if you belong, because you do. Don't let them see you be cowed because you're the only woman in the room, or because they've been doing something for 25 years and they've got their good old boys club. Women are master operators who can maximize efficiency, multitask, and organize. No matter how long systems have been in place, you can shake them up. Just because something hasn't been done before doesn't mean it shouldn't be. For me, it's a lot of having to sometimes put on a show of confidence when I don't necessarily feel any, but you have to act as if you belong. I work in security and get a lot of slack about how I've never worked as a security officer. I'm 5'4" and 115 pounds, so I couldn't protect you from a stiff wind. But just because I don't work security doesn't mean I can't assess risk as good as the next person or bring my skills to the table, because client management is client management regardless of the product. People ultimately want results, and they don't care who delivers them. Half the time when we think we're really cowed because this is a male-dominant industry, most people don't care about that. Are you delivering results, or are you not?

Drawing strict boundaries is essential to me. There are times when you have to say no, and that's really hard to do because as women we feel like we can do it all, and we can. But there's this need to constantly be the best or prove ourselves. I have to consciously force myself away from being Superwoman and proving to everyone that I can do everything. Just because I can do everything doesn't mean I should. You have to learn to delegate down or tell people no, and set realistic expectations with clients. I've been here for 13 hours and I need to go home because I have a child, a life, a husband, and a lot of other demands that life is placing on me. If I don't see to them, I'm going to fall apart. Setting realistic expectations and being clear with everyone around you about what you are willing or not willing to do is really important for your health and for the health of the people you care about. I manage 300 people who are looking to me for answers and concerns. I'm in a privileged position, so I owe them answers. I need to be highly aware that many of my officers are working paycheck to paycheck, so when they call at midnight about their pay being wrong, even though it's the end of my very long day, it is really important to them. You can set boundaries in a healthy way, but you also need to be able to deliver to the people that work for you. When you're effective and deliver on your promises, you tend to override objections with how good you are.