Tina Bernard

I attribute my success to blending traditional educational experiences with what I've suffered through. Most of what I've learned comes from what I've experienced. I've suffered through some really harrowing life experiences, from financial ruin to emotional and physical abuse to near homelessness. My childhood was not peachy keen, so I'm very humbled by every opportunity and accomplishment that I'm able to acknowledge in my life. Some people might find it strange, but I look at those who abused me as my teachers. If I hadn't experienced that, and turned that not just into resilience, but being a different kind of a mother, or choosing more wisely when I got married again, and setting an example to my children that was different from the one I had, being able to learn boundaries, to have compassion and empathy, and put voice to trauma in a way that allows other people not to wallow in their stories, but find inspiration and honor in those stories, that they could become somebody much bigger than those lies that they were told. That, to me, is just as important as a certificate with a degree, or an award.

The best career advice I ever received came from my then-boyfriend, who is now my husband. I had written this book, and I shared it with him, and he read the book that was the genesis of this, and he said to me, you're not writing a book, Tina, you're creating a movement. That actually was our very first argument that we had in our dating life, but he saw something that I hadn't seen in me yet, which was I could be a great leader working for somebody else, but I needed to translate that to being a leader of something I created by myself.

I literally had this conversation last night at dinner with my husband. Our waitress was a very well-spoken, poised young lady who was driving an hour for this job because she wanted to be around people that had a higher caliber of success. I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she loved fashion. We had a 20-minute conversation asking questions and guiding her towards what's next, because she obviously didn't want to end up just being a waitress in a nice cigar lounge. She has dreams. After that conversation, she hugged us and thanked us so much. She cared, she listened, and we got to inspire her, but she inspired us as well through that conversation. My advice is to seek out people who have achieved what you want to achieve, be willing to listen and learn, and don't be afraid to dream bigger than where you currently are.

The most important value to me is reciprocity and creating win-win-win situations. I approach professional experiences where it's not just you win, it's not just I win, there's always a third person involved. I have to make sure that everybody who touches it benefits. I see this as reciprocity. This is not just Tina benefits. I also think about what I can do to provide support, encouragement, and inspiration to the people who are saying yes to me, and how do I say yes to them. I'm very humbled by every opportunity and accomplishment, and I believe in honoring people's stories and helping them become somebody much bigger than the lies they were told.