Tina Sykes Mosley

I attribute my success to my life experience with the death of my son and the things that I have had to overcome. But if I had to sum it up, it's just being transparent. That's what has truly kept my families in touch with me - because I'm totally transparent and totally honest about grief, about what losing a child looks like, what grief really looks like, what survival really looks like. I don't buy into the cliches, because none of that helps. Where different organizations are not as transparent, I am completely honest about the grief and the journey, and that transparency is what makes me effective with the families I serve.

The best career advice I've received, as it relates to what I'm doing, is not to own it. Don't allow other people's grief to overpower you, where you become ineffective. You know, help, but don't harbor the grief. You won't be effective if you do. I can't always follow this advice because my own grief is so full, but it's important guidance for this work.

Just make sure you're in it for the right reason. Make sure you're not in it for any type of notoriety or funds and all of that. You've got to be in this business for the right reason. You have to be healthy enough to maintain your own grief, or whatever situation you have going on, to be effective with others. There are a lot of people who are not genuine - a lot of people try to do nonprofits thinking that all this funding's going to come into place, and they're in it for the wrong reasons. You cannot be that. You have got to be genuine. You have got to be transparent with families, because lives are on the line.

The biggest challenge is that people don't really care about homicide or death unless they're directly affected. People tend to just dismiss it. That's been a major challenge, because this is a community thing. This is such a major problem in every city - you watch the news and hear about all the homicides that take place nationwide. But really getting people to be aware of it and involved with it has been the biggest challenge. It really has been. A lot of people tend to think, okay, this is a personal issue, this is a family issue. But I ask them, what if your child, or what if yourself is caught up in that gunfire? You could be at a traffic light, you could be in the grocery store, you could be anywhere, and bullets go flying and you get hit. Now you want to be involved with it. That's a major problem. We're making progress, but we're not where we need to be at all.

In my personal life, honesty is definitely one of the most important values. Safety is critical. Not taking time for granted is something I've learned. Being a part of your children's lives and being a part of my family's life as much as I can is very important to me. My kids are all grown now, and my Marcus, he was my middle son, he's in heaven. So just really not taking life for granted, being available not only for my family, which is very important to me, but for others as well when I can be.