PTSD - The Reality - Looking Through the Glass
The reality of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress) and how it affects our daily lives. This is a real condition that can be extremely debilitating if not acknowledged and addressed
What is PTSD?
If you have experienced severe trauma, abuse, neglect, loss, or a life-threatening event—whether connected to war or in a non-combat situation—you may have PTSD.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress resulting from injury or severe psychological shock. It typically involves disturbances of sleep, vivid recollection of the experience, and dulled responses to others and the outside world.
Do you feel on edge? Are the nightmares continual and repetitive? Do sudden noises make you jump, or are you terrified of the dark? Do certain smells trigger negative memories or flashbacks? Do you feel uneasy in particular places, or at certain times of day? Does performing certain tasks make you cringe?
All of this adds up to the reality that PTSD is very real—and in moments of distress, it can be frightening. Survivors often feel as though they are living in two worlds at once: the logical mind trying to make sense of it all, while the traumatized side is running for cover. It is a battle of wills. Vision, thoughts, and rational thinking become clouded and distorted.
Am I insane? Call me crazy! I am lost! How did I get here?
Can I be cured?
These are questions many survivors ask—and they are absolutely valid.
Does society really understand?
To some extent, yes. But many naysayers still dismiss PTSD as “fake” or accuse those struggling of seeking attention. This is far from the truth.
As an abuse survivor, I can state firsthand that PTSD is real. When someone is in the thick of trauma, it can be debilitating. Imagine walking down a beach with one foot in water and the other in sand. You are trying to reach higher ground as the waves of the past pull you under. Deeper and deeper you go, feeling like you are drowning with no way out. The sand under your feet pulls you in like quicksand.
Heavier and heavier your footing becomes until you reach complete darkness, fighting for a breath of fresh air. You are suffocating in the stench of abuse and pain, while twisted images dance before your eyes. And at the same time, you are expected to go about your daily life, functioning as a “normal” human being.
Can you imagine this being your daily grind? It is a horrific place to stand—surviving past experiences while trying to explain yourself to others, often finding the words simply will not come.
A Personal History
As a young child and young adult, I was emotionally, mentally, physically, and sexually abused. My past left me damaged in many ways. It took a lot of hard work and determination to overcome many of those hurdles, but I did not walk away unscathed.
The Looking Glass
Imagine standing behind a glass wall. On the other side is your current life in motion. You hear the muffled sounds of a normal day, but your mind is elsewhere—a place of darkness where everything is clouded. You place your hands on the glass, rubbing to clear your vision, but it remains blurry. The distorted view and muffled sounds leave you scared, overwhelmed, and confused. You bang on the glass harder, but no one can hear you. This is what it feels like to live in two worlds at once.
For many abuse survivors, as we work toward healing, some past triggers and quirks remain. Sometimes, they are a lifelong imprint of the past.
Overcoming What Will Not Go Away
I want to share one of my triggers that remains today—a powerful example of the reality of PTSD: the dentist.
I experienced multiple abusers in my life. One came into my life at age 12 and was physically, psychologically, and sexually violent. His abuse lasted two and a half years before I could escape, leaving me in a world of silence, nightmares, and flashbacks.
Now, you might ask: what does this have to do with the dentist?
As a child, my personal dentist caused unnecessary pain through fillings, extractions, and procedures, leaving me emotionally scarred. Even today, I cannot handle the sound of the drill—it instantly brings me back to childhood and the fear I endured. I recall countless children lined up in hallways, their cries and screams haunting the walls. I would think, “How can I escape?”
Trigger Warning:
During years of sexual abuse, my abuser inflicted pain by forcing objects into my mouth, choking, gagging, and sometimes rendering me unconscious. The trauma was repeated and violent, leaving lifelong scars.
Now, sitting in a dentist’s chair, I feel anxiety, vulnerability, and a stiffening of my body. Every cleaning is an emotional experience. Any dental work beyond a cleaning requires anesthesia because I cannot handle it otherwise. For years, I felt this was a weakness. Now, after healing, I understand: it is not weakness. It is bravery.
I am able to say the words out loud and acknowledge my triggers. I attach meaning to them—a crucial part of healing. By accepting my triggers, I learn to work with them, not against them. They are part of me, reflecting scars from past trauma, but they do not define me. I remind myself during struggles: I am okay. I am a work in progress.
A Shared Reality
My story is not unique. Millions of abuse and trauma survivors live in two worlds daily, striving to cope and find balance.
How Can We Help?
We can start by educating ourselves and listening. Offer kindness instead of judgment. Those who have never experienced such struggles may not fully understand, but empathy and attention go a long way.
The best teachers in life are the stories and experiences of others—the good, the bad, and the ugly. They all matter.
I ask that you please share this blog, because there is much to learn simply by reading it. We all have a story—this is a glimpse into mine.
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