Are You Successful? How Did You Get There?
Redefining Success: Why Character Matters More Than Capital
Cambridge Dictionary defines success as “the achievement of desired results.” The Britannica Dictionary offers a more outcome-driven definition: “the attainment of wealth, respect, or fame.” As Bonnie Marcus notes in Rejecting Society’s Definition of Success Is the First Step to Finding a Meaningful and Fulfilling Life, these definitions focus on what was achieved—but remain silent on how it was achieved.
That omission matters.
Did success come from hard work, accountability, and ethical leadership? Or from exploitation, deception, and unearned advantage? The distinction is critical, because success rooted in integrity carries a very different legacy than success built on manipulation. For this reason, we can broadly categorize achievement into two paths: Negative Success and Positive Success.
Two Ways to Be “Successful”
1. Negative Successors
Negative successors often occupy positions of visibility and power—in business, politics, entertainment, or technology. Their ascent, however, is marked by unethical behavior: falsifying records, stealing intellectual property, abusing insider access, or benefiting from entrenched privilege without accountability.
Modern technology has only expanded these avenues. Cheating no longer requires physical proximity; hacking, data theft, and digital plagiarism allow exploitation at scale. When such individuals remain unchallenged, they perpetuate cultures where dishonesty is normalized and rewarded.
Their presence sends a dangerous message to younger generations: that shortcuts are acceptable, that integrity is optional, and that outcomes justify any means necessary. This erosion of values does not remain isolated—it spreads.
2. Positive Successors
Positive successors pursue achievement while adhering to a personal and professional code of ethics—honesty, responsibility, respect, and often a commitment to something larger than themselves, whether community, service, or faith.
They are willing to walk away from opportunities that require moral compromise, even when those opportunities promise prestige or wealth. Their success is not fragile; it is durable. It earns trust, fosters collaboration, and leaves institutions stronger than they were before.
Positive successors demonstrate that success need not come at the expense of others—and that integrity, while slower to reward, endures far longer than notoriety gained through deception.
Redefining Success for Future Generations
If we continue to teach young people that success equals money, fame, or power alone, we risk elevating negative successors as default role models. What we need instead is a definition of success that explicitly includes character, accountability, ethical conduct, and social responsibility.
Such a framework allows individuals—young and old alike—to evaluate role models not by résumé polish or financial worth, but by the values that shaped their journey.
The Most Important Question to Ask
When encountering someone labeled “successful,” the most important follow-up question is simple:
“How did you get there—and how do you stay there?”
This question reveals whether achievement was built through effort, learning, and ethical decision-making—or through shortcuts and exploitation. The answer determines whether the individual is worthy of mentorship or merely admiration from afar.
Which person is truly successful:
– the wealthy individual who accumulated power through cheating and theft, or
– the person who endured loss, injustice, and adversity yet retained integrity?
Due Diligence Is Not Cynicism—It’s Survival
In a world of polished résumés and curated personas, sincerity is not guaranteed. In business, friendships, and relationships alike, appearances often mask self-interest or deception.
The antidote is rigorous due diligence.
Verify credentials. Cross-check stories. Ask questions that invite specificity rather than performance. Treat new relationships not as conclusions, but as hypotheses to be tested. This discipline protects your time, your resources, and your well-being.
Equally important is maintaining agency. Being the master of your own path means setting boundaries, making informed decisions, and refusing to surrender judgment to charisma or convenience. Expect honesty to be the exception, not the rule—and navigate accordingly.
Women, Leadership, and Ethical Influence
In today’s climate, women’s leadership is not optional—it is essential.
Women who embody positive succession play a critical role in reshaping cultural norms. Like mothers guiding future generations, they model discernment, accountability, and courage. When women in leadership demand transparency and reject shortcuts, they counterbalance systems that too often reward harm over humanity.
“A mother knows best” reflects more than instinct; it reflects wisdom shaped by care, consequence, and foresight. That same wisdom, when applied to leadership, has the power to redirect institutions toward justice and purpose.
A Call to Action
- Ask the right questions. Don’t accept success at face value—probe the journey behind it.
- Choose mentors intentionally. Align with those whose paths reflect service and integrity.
- Speak out against unethical behavior. Even when power resists accountability, integrity outlasts influence.
- Support positive successors. Amplify ethical leadership—it shapes healthier systems.
- Walk away when necessary. Doors that close often protect you from harm.
America’s future will not be defined by how many leaders rise to power—but by how they rise. Success rooted in character, not capital, is what restores trust and builds sustainable institutions.
So don’t hesitate to ask: “What actually got you where you are?”
And if the answer reveals exploitation or deceit—walk away.
Those who cheat their way up will use you the same way they used everyone else.
Journey to the top on a positive flight.
