Beauty Is in the Eye of the Molder

Beauty Is in the Eye of the Molder

We have all heard it said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is even that old song, "Everything Is Beautiful," reminding us that beauty shows up in its own way. The beholder is the one looking at you. It is what other people see and decide is beautiful.

But what about you? What about the one doing the shaping?

The molder is the person who sees herself and knows what makes her beautiful, what makes her strong, and what makes her special. The molder is the author of her own life. She gives structure to who she is. She decides how she adorns herself and how she cares for her body, her health, and her wellness. The molder represents the power of the self. And before a beholder can behold you, you must first be able to mold yourself.

The molding starts young. Think of a little girl with a lump of clay in her hands. She might be ten, pressing her thumbs into it, curious about what she can make. By then, she may have heard "You're so pretty" enough times to notice when nobody says it. She can enjoy hearing it and still ask, "What do I see in myself? What do I want to shape?" I want her to know, while that clay is still soft in her hands, that she gets a say in who she becomes.

Every woman gets to decide how she wears her hair. She can wear hers naturally today, put on a wig tomorrow, or wear a weave or extensions next week. The beholder can have an opinion. I'm the molder.

When we wait for a beholder, we give our power away. We wait for someone else to see us and approve of us. That is a different frame of mind, and we need to stop waiting. We have to mold ourselves first and approve of ourselves. Then, when a beholder comes along and finds us beautiful, we don't have to buy into it. It can be flattering to be seen as beautiful, and we can appreciate that affirmation. But if no one beholds us, then we mold ourselves. Because molders attract molders. Like attracts like, and it is rooted in confidence.

To mold something is to shape it with your own hands, through steady pressure, patience, and intention. Clay does not take its form all at once. It is worked over time. And once it is set, a mold holds its shape. Molding yourself is both creating who you are and holding on to that identity.

A Different Space and a Different Pace

At sixty-one, I train in a different space and at a different pace. Whether I am traveling in Cap Cana or working out at my gym at home, I am not putting too much pressure on myself. I am simply being consistent. Changes in the body come more slowly now, and they definitely do not happen overnight. It takes time.

I am not trying to get rid of all my fat because a woman should have some curves. I am building strength so that ten years from now, twenty years from now, or however many years the Lord gives me, I can still be agile, mobile, strong, and free.

Passing the Mold Forward

Recently, I met three young ladies at the gym, all sixteen. One was lifting really heavy, and the other two just wanted to learn. We started talking, and I asked if they wanted to train together. They jumped with excitement. We have trained together since, and we will be back at it again.

The reward for me is as great as it is for them. We talked about getting rid of the word fat because no one should be defined by it. Instead, we talked about building lean muscle so they look their best at sixteen and stay consistent at twenty, thirty, forty, and fifty. We also talked about how, one day, if they marry and become moms, they can still be strong and athletic. Knowing their parents trust me, a near stranger, to train them gives me even more motivation.

My work with them is about more than keeping myself consistent or setting an example. It is about instilling in them the importance of molding themselves.

Making the Modifications

Molding also means making modifications. Think of a construction site. When molding is installed in a house, sometimes a modification has to be made because something no longer works or is not up to code. That is how we should look at ourselves, our bodies, and how we live.

Modification doesn't have to mean plastic surgery or a facelift. If someone feels she needs that, it is her choice, but I have not had it done myself. The modifications I mean are the ones that elevate you and raise your value. Sometimes a modification is simply getting more sleep at night. Recently, I got a little dizzy during my Romanian deadlifts and hip thrusts because I lift pretty heavy. My modification involved adjusting my breathing and drinking more water.

That process takes time. You can rush it the artificial way, and that is your choice, or you can modify bit by bit, body part by body part, mindset by mindset.

A 2025 study in the Journal of Health Psychology by Marmara, Hosking, and McLean found that, among women, planned physical activity was linked to greater well-being through body appreciation.

Being the molder does not mean you become the mold of everyone else. Your goal is to break the mold for yourself. If you have observed something in another woman's mold that inspires you, there is nothing wrong with adopting it. Just take it for yourself and make it authentic to you. That is your trademark. Trademark yourself.

The MOLDER

So, what does it take to mold yourself? I think of it this way:

M is for Mental Acuity. It starts in the mind. Some days, you do not feel like getting up and getting out to work out, but something always sparks that energy. The molder finds that spark.

O is for Obligation to Self. You owe it to yourself to care for your body, your health, and your wellness because no one else can mold you.

L is for Love of Self. Every woman should give herself permission to want to look, feel, and know that she is beautiful and to love herself. People have a tendency to try to put a hood over your lamp. But if you put a hood over a lamp that is turned on, eventually it will burn through and burst into flames. Yes, there is a little vanity in it, and vanity is not just for the young. I am not talking about vanity of the spirit or being haughty. I am talking about the desire to love oneself authentically, without pretending to be something you are not.

D is for Discipline. Consistency without too much pressure. Showing up again and again.

E is for Everlasting Evolution. The body changes slowly, and the molding never ends, whether you are sixteen or sixty-one.

R is for Regal. Carrying yourself with dignity and strength while remaining agile, mobile, and free.

How to Become a Molder

• Start with your mind. On days when you don't feel like it, find your spark, get up, and go.
• Give yourself permission. Want to look, feel, and know that you are beautiful, and love yourself.
• Make one modification at a time. It might mean more sleep, more water, or better breathing when you train.
• Be consistent, not perfect. Show up again and again without putting too much pressure on yourself.
• Change your words. Drop "fat" and speak about building strength and lean muscle.
• Borrow inspiration, then make it yours. Take what inspires you from another woman's mold and make it authentic to you.
• Pass it on. Encourage a younger woman to mold herself, too.

Before the Beholder

The world will always have its beholders. People will look, and they will decide what they think is beautiful. But long before anyone beholds you, you have the power to mold yourself. That is where real beauty begins.

Beauty is in the eye of the molder. It is what you mold yourself to be.

So, I ask you: What will you mold in yourself starting today?