Becoming Me
Finding Strength and Self-Discovery After Loss and Life's Greatest Challenges
Returning to Self
This story is both sad and happy: sad for the losses and challenges we endure, yet happy because every woman has the ability to return to herself.
There are women who survive the loss of a child, a parent, or a spouse, as well as the life challenges that we all have to encounter at one time or another-often unexpectedly.
My life has always been challenging, and I can't count the number of times I just wanted to give up on myself and throw in the towel.
It would have been easy to just disappear and hit delete. I lost my youngest daughter, and I am just now talking about it. You never want to say the words loss or lost.
The unimaginable pain and unexpected grief are things you have to live with. They don't simply go away.
I have had to endure the challenges of divorce, from the highest levels of my elite career challenges. I inhabited it all, making decisions that I never anticipated or planned.
I used to believe that being a good steward of life and being kind and courageous would sail me through this thing we call life.
Educating myself on every level, only to help others, I made sacrifices that are in some of my books-sacrifices that many would have never made.
Who would leave a mansion in Beverly Hills with maids, butlers, yachts, planes, and all the money you could spend? Your first thought would be a cheating husband. That was not why I left Hollywood or my home. It was something far different. Once again, it is in one of my novels that has not yet been published.
A mother will do anything for her children-to make them happy, to teach them the ways of a world that is sometimes not kind to you, to educate them to become the best versions of themselves, and to teach them how to overcome challenges in life.
Being a good mother and loving being a mom, I made many sacrifices, putting my two girls first in my career choices until our girls graduated and were on their own before starting my big adventures in my careers.
Working and advancing myself to the highest level, overworking myself also brought me challenges that forced me to stop and think about what really makes me happy.
I put family and God first in everything I did, and then friends, and I kept going, helping others succeed with their careers and building their careers.
The hours I worked, looking back now, were insane, and there is a heavy price that comes when you don't choose yourself first.
I know I paid this price. It was grace that pulled me through each challenge, and I was the girl who wanted to do it all-and I did.
I did not make time for myself to even eat, nor did I hardly sleep, because success came with hard work, starting at 4 a.m. and falling asleep at my computer.
Now, today, I ask myself many questions: Why?
Why was I so driven, and what was inside of me that kept pushing me to help others, make their dreams come true, and financially drain my own finances to make sure others survived?
Being a multimillionaire and having everything I ever wanted did not make me happy. I was not self-fulfilled just because of wealth.
I started to worry about myself because I never thought about myself. It seemed that I was always last in the order of the day.
I am disclosing in my new book, Becoming Me, all of the challenges-from riches and fame to almost giving up. I realized along the way that I had lost me, not only my child.
I don't know how many women lose themselves in divorce or through losing a husband or their parents, but I did. I always thought of other people's survival, as it was deeply rooted in me from being raised by caring grandmothers who were naturally successful, without stress. Now, I look back as I write the novel about why and how they lived-not pushing themselves into overdrive, but being comfortable, happy, and successful.
I wrote this book for all women at all stages of life, but there is something about the number 50 and over. It becomes a time of looking back and asking why.
The 5 Ws come to me often: who, why, what, where, and when?
I went through all of those, and sitting here today with autumn arriving, I've learned how to save myself. I have learned how to revive my energy, even though I've always had deep faith in God. The grace of God is exactly the very thing that pushed me back up.
But if my story can help even one woman-from young to old-and teach her the things that I missed along the way by overdoing and overchallenging myself in my career, or should I say careers, believing I had to be 100% on everything at all times, then it will all be worth it.
The books, the novels, the films, the talk shows, the modeling, the acting, the health and fitness, the entrepreneurship, the wife-I could go on and on. And the ones who knew me ask me the big question:
How do you do it all?
I am here to inspire and help others. I didn't think about myself, so I hope you read my book, as I will be putting it on a major platform and participating in speaking engagements to help save many mothers and many women from my struggles and all that I've been through to now-to becoming myself and starting over.
My life has been lived between many pages of many books that I have not even published. I counted my books the other day: 22 books, two franchise TV series, and now a collection of books that I plan on putting out very soon.
The saddest part here is that while you are growing up and challenging yourself in all these different careers, or even one career, you will find yourself in one of these chapters and look back and ask yourself, Why didn't I do this when I was younger? Or, Why didn't I do this when I was so exhausted but still had the energy to keep moving forward and pushing myself to every limit?
The happy part of this is the fact that a woman can choose not to give up and not to stop. That alone is worth gold.
I want to give each of you golden nuggets and help you become that strong, beautiful woman, no matter your age, because age and time are things we don't get back.
