"Being Bipolar: The Two Sides Of Me"
From Bipolar Diagnosis to Purpose: A Journey of Resilience and Hope
Now, you’re probably wondering, “Why did she choose this as a title?” Well, once you read this article, you will better understand why I chose this title. My hope is that all those who are currently battling mental illnesses know that they are not alone in this fight.
With that said, here’s my story.
My name is Daarina, aka “Nina” Jefferson, but you can call me Nina. I have had bipolar disorder since 2001.
It was Thanksgiving 2001, and I was “dating” a guy who was my co-worker at the time. The night before, I was feeling strange and woke up still feeling “off.” So, while we were on our way to my uncle’s house for Thanksgiving dinner, he took a detour and ended up in downtown Newark. Next, he started asking me questions, as if he were picking my brain. Here I was, thinking he was getting ready to propose marriage to me, but instead, he pulled out a set of keys. I took the keys, jumped out of the car, and tried to break into the car that was parked in front of us. Wow! Talk about bizarre! So, he got scared! He drove off and left me stranded! Can you believe that?!
As I digress, I became very erratic. I was wandering in the streets and somehow made it to a nearby hotel. When I got there, I did the unthinkable! I took off all my clothes and walked around in my birthday suit until the first responders arrived. Then, I was transported to a nearby hospital. I was given a shot of some type of tranquilizer and fell asleep. When I woke up, I felt groggy and dazed. At first, I tried to leave, but the security guard was NOT HAVING that! So, for the next six weeks, I received treatment and was initially diagnosed with schizophrenia. Then, the psychiatrist finally gave me a definitive diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I was upset and confused when I was told. I kept asking God, “Why?”
I was then discharged from that hospital. I spent the next three years going in and out of psychiatric hospitals until I was finally discharged on June 4, 2004.
For the next 17 years, I was stable. I found the love of my life, got married, and had a daughter (I had already had my son from a previous relationship by then). We moved to a location where the people were much friendlier and the area was safer. Everything was going great until COVID hit!
When COVID first hit, everything shifted quickly! I couldn’t cope with or adjust to the new norm. I was lashing out at my family, bashing them on social media, and didn’t care whom I hurt. Looking back on that, I realize I was having some severe manic episodes. It had gotten to the point that my husband and I had a fight! That’s how I knew things had reached the point of no return.
My husband had to save me from myself, him, and our daughter, who was five at the time. He took me to the hospital because he was afraid of me and knew I couldn’t recover until I got help. So, I was transported to a facility at 3 a.m. while I was tired and sleeping. I spent 22 days and 21 nights there receiving treatment.
This time, I was determined to NEVER return to this or any other psychiatric facility again!
Since my last discharge from that psychiatric facility, I’m extremely proud to say that I’m living a fulfilling, productive lifestyle. I take my medications regularly. I also practice self-care by getting my hair done every two months. I so LOVE getting my hair done!!! Next, I’ll be working on getting my nails and feet done. Going clothes shopping is also on my agenda!!
I reflect daily on how God has brought me through those trying periods in my life. I’m more keenly aware and much more humble these days. I find myself writing more articles, such as this one for the magazine. As I digress, having this mental disorder can be challenging, but it’s also rewarding!
Now that you have read my story, I’m wondering, “What are your thoughts on it?” By now, I hope that, if nothing else, this article will inspire and educate you. If one person can change people’s minds regarding this topic, I would rather it be me. I speak again from a place of experience and hope.
As I continue, I have a podcast show titled “Nina: I Am NOT My Illness,” which is available on Spotify for Podcasters, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and a few other platforms. There, I use my experience with bipolar disorder to make a positive, global impact. I have 21 active followers, and listeners in 63 countries. To tell you the truth, it feels so surreal that my show is reaching listeners domestically and globally. I don’t take this for granted; I’m very humble and grateful for the support of my audience.
It’s not easy to produce podcast episodes and then market them daily, so I take my hat off to fellow podcasters who are monetizing and marketing their shows. I’ve had my show for six years now, and sometimes I feel like a small fish in a shark-infested ocean. But I have to remind myself what my purpose is. The fact that I do not record as much as the next podcast host should not have a bearing on me. I will definitely have to keep that in mind.
By the way, I am also a brand ambassador for THREE clothing lines. They are “Runway Redi,” “Just Strong,” and “Known In Heaven.” Is that AMAZING?! I am still in awe!!
Also, I’m now a published author on Amazon, having written two books. Make sure you check them out today!
So, that’s who I am, in a nutshell. If my story has resonated with you, I appreciate that. Remember, you are more than your mental illness.
Thank you for reading my story!
