Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Fourteen Years of Silence, we survived to tell our story

On April 16, 2003, my life changed when I became a mother to twins. I was beginning a new chapter, one filled with responsibilities, hopes, and dreams for the future. I wanted to be a good mother. I wanted to build a family, establish a career, and create a life my children could grow up in.

Four months after giving birth, I returned to work and college. I had goals I wanted to accomplish, and I was determined to finish what I started. I wanted to provide for my children and create opportunities for our future.

At the time, I believed everything was falling into place. I had my children, I was working toward my education, and I was trying to build a life that included their father.

But behind those hopes, our relationship was becoming increasingly difficult. The abuse began when the twins were born. As I tried to balance motherhood, work, and college, my children and I also faced controlling behavior, physical abuse, and verbal abuse.

Whenever I tried to leave, their father would tell me that no one would want a "used-up woman with children." Those words struck at the future I wanted for myself and my twins. I wanted my children to have stability, but I was trying to make decisions about my life while carrying the weight of those hurtful words.

Looking back, I recognize that my story is not only about a fourteen-year relationship. It is also about motherhood during a time when I was trying to figure out my future, pursue my education, and raise two children.

My twins were part of this chapter from the very beginning. My choices, my hopes, and my struggles all existed alongside the responsibility and love I felt as their mother.

I am sharing this part of my life during Domestic Violence Awareness Month because I want people to understand that domestic violence can affect more than the person being abused. It can affect a family, a parent's ability to navigate daily life, and the environment in which children grow up.

My final thought as I reflect on my rocky journey is this: Please do not stay in a relationship like this. My children and I were determined to escape, even though it was not easy. Resources are available in your community, and you are not alone.