Escape the Cycle of Perceptions
Stop exhausting yourself trying to get people to understand you—your authenticity matters far more than their approval.
If I could tell you one thing, it would be this: stop exhausting yourself trying to get people to see where you're coming from.
You can spend so much energy explaining yourself, defending yourself, and trying to manage other people's perceptions of you. You'll think that if you just find the right words, the right explanation, or the right amount of patience, people will finally understand you.
They won't always.
And that's okay.
Authenticity Is Far More Important Than Approval
People will have something to say whether you conform to their standards or not. Some people will misunderstand you because of their own experiences, insecurities, and assumptions. Some will project their fears onto you. Some will mistake your confidence for arrogance, your quietness for weakness, and your boundaries for hostility.
None of that belongs to you.
- You do not have to carry other people's insecurities.
- You do not have to shrink yourself to make others comfortable.
- You do not have to make yourself smaller so someone else can feel bigger.
The most important lesson I've learned is that your strength is not something you need to find in other people. It has been inside you all along. The day you stop seeking permission to be yourself is the day you begin to become everything you need.
- Trust yourself enough to take up space.
- Trust yourself enough to stand firm in your values.
- Respect yourself enough to walk away from people who require you to become less in order to be accepted.
DO NOT SHRINK YOURSELF
Hear me clearly:
- Not for acceptance.
- Not for approval.
- Not for comfort.
- Not for compliance.
- Not for anyone.
The people who are meant for you will never require you to become smaller to fit into their world.
- Be bold.
- Be unapologetic.
- Be vivacious.
- Have discernment.
- Have boundaries.
Understand that not everyone deserves access to you, and not every opinion deserves your attention.
You do not have to fit neatly into someone else's box. You were never meant to.
You are allowed to be complex, multidimensional, evolving, and entirely yourself.
Be authentic.
Be confident.
Be unapologetically you.
You are enough exactly as you are.
I currently serve as an Office Administrator IV and Case Assignment and Placement Team Supervisor with Illinois DCFS. I bring 15 years of experience across education, leadership, and administrative operations. In my role, I support frontline child welfare work by overseeing case assignments, promoting data accuracy, and contributing to quality assurance. I hold a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration with a…
