Half A Sandwich

Women leaders, can I tell you something I noticed this week?

We are brilliant at building the plan for everyone else. The team, the family, the board, the client. We see every moving piece, we know what comes next, and we map it before anyone else has even asked. But our own goals? Those tend to sit quietly at the bottom of the list, waiting for a day that never seems to come.

I was reminded of this in the most unexpected place. I'm currently teaching an advanced inclusion class for global graduate students, and somewhere in the middle of our meetings, I realized something that brought me real JOY.

I LOVE being a goal ninja.

Not just because I write goals well. Goal setting takes creativity, and it takes knowing the HOW to move through the entire journey. Inclusion planning calls on strategy, creativity, cognitive flexibility, communication, time management, regulation, and collaboration, all at once.

Sound familiar? That's the same skill set you use every single day as a woman who leads. The question is whether you ever turn it toward yourself.

The Missing Jelly

To me, goal setting isn't filling in the blanks. It takes some guts to name WHY we're doing the plan and what it will actually look like. But the HOW steps are where the plan succeeds or stalls.

It's like making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the jelly. You're missing the piece that makes the whole thing work, and you end up with half a sandwich.

So many women leaders are living on half sandwiches. A clear vision, a big WHY, and no room left to build the steps for ourselves.

Start With Today

Goals can be simple when we take the time to write out the steps for NOW. Many of us try to write the HOW, but we build a yearlong calendar when what we need is a single day. Start with the day. Then move to the week.

This is where we get lost in the sauce. The goal is so lofty that it feels impossible, and over time, the brain and body quietly shut down to the whole idea. Not because we don't care. Because we're already carrying so much.

Often, the problem isn't the goal at all. It's chronic cognitive overload. It's an engine revving hard to get everything done faster, for everyone, when what's needed is steadiness. That's survival mode, and survival mode doesn't build well. The brain and body have to align and connect first. Once they do, creativity, time, energy, and genuine capacity begin to flourish.

There are strategic brain skills that help us map the NOW, the LATER, and HOW we begin. Once the HOW steps are identified, we start there. One step at a time.

The WHY Matters. The HOW Is Where We Get Stuck.

The big-picture WHY is KEY. But many of us skip the HOW out of fear: fear of timing, fear of getting it wrong, fear of committing to deadlines that aren't realistic when our calendars already belong to everyone else. It ends in MORE stress and LESS getting done.

When you build your plan one step at a time, you create a stairway, with each step leading to the next. Throwing everything into one pile does the opposite. It sends the brain into overdrive.

Here's the honest part: I do this well for others, and I do it well for myself. That's not true of every skill. Editing my own papers? I need support for that. And I've learned that asking for it is a strength, not a weakness. But mapping the NOW and LATER and breaking down the HOW? I could do that in my sleep. Truly.

Your Turn

Think about the planning you're doing right now. Not for your team. For YOU. Is it so big that you're missing the HOW? If you're not sure what gets you stuck, look at your HOW process. What helps you get grounded and honed in?

This week, I'm thrilled to be helping my students identify target behavior skills and goals based on their data. It's the same work I love doing with the women leaders I serve: pinpointing the right skill based on their individual data and brain skills, so the plan finally includes them.

If the HOW is where you need support, let's connect.