In The Midst of it All
Finding Faith and Love Through Life's Greatest Challenges
In the Midst of It All
Dr. Stephanie Allen-Gobert
Many years ago, I took the step of marrying someone who would eventually change my life. This step hasn't been the easiest. Learning to love a man unconditionally requires patience, dedication, determination, tears, forgiveness, and, most importantly, the love of God.
Having a heart that is open to an individual with just as many flaws, if not more than you have, comes with a price: holding steadfast to the love you have for that person and all of your hopes and dreams for a "perfect" marriage in the midst of lies, infidelity, betrayal, jealousy, criticism, negativity, anxiety, depression, temptations, incarceration, and other daily life struggles can cause your faith to waver.
As humans, we were told the road we travel wouldn't be easy. Marriage isn't easy. Being single or starting a new relationship isn't easy. But as women who truly can and will wholeheartedly put their trust in God—waiting in our heels, flats, tennis shoes, or house shoes—He will keep us and everything that concerns us in the midst of it all!
Who doesn't love one of the greatest singers of all time, Mrs. Yolanda Adams? Her voice continues to bring tears to my eyes, and it is truly a gift from God. Throughout the years, her songs and their words have continued to inspire me and millions of people all over the world. Her famous song, "In the Midst of It All," has been one song that allows me to know and feel the presence of the Lord in all situations, especially in the "midst" of enduring some of the challenges that come with relationships, marriage, and waiting on God to change you and the man you call—or want to eventually call—your husband.
"Through the pain and all of my sorrows, through the tears and all my fears"—those motivational words, when sung, can move mountains. But sometimes, words just aren't enough.
There are still important things and actions that we, as women, must take while we are waiting in the midst to ensure that all of our heart's desires are fulfilled and that the promises of the one we choose to call our husbands and soulmates are honored. The Bible says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing" (Proverbs 18:22). To be that "good thing" might not come easily, but through His grace, mercy, and favor, the wait will be worth it!
"Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil" (Ephesians 6:11). These words are clear and concise, and they help establish the schemes the devil will try to use in our lives in just about every aspect and situation.
My husband and I have been together since the tenth grade in high school. That is well over twenty years!
Throughout these years, we have had many trying times when all of our armor needed to be put on. One of our many heartbreaking trials—the scheme of the devil—was the issue of infidelity.
For a "Sista" of my caliber, this was a terrible pill to swallow. I was faithful. I was loyal. I was there for him and his family. I had two of his children. I cooked. I cleaned. I was a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed for my husband. :) How and why did this happen to me?
As a woman of God, I realized the hurt that millions of other women feel. I just didn't think this could happen to me or in my marriage. What did I do wrong?
All the schemes of the enemy were attacking me and my marriage. Our children were hurt and confused. Our families were hurt and confused. This was a hard trial. I was all alone and had no one to turn to. I realized that all the visions I had of a perfect marriage, and all the things that people said about how "perfect" our marriage looked, were lies.
But it gets better!
Once we realized that God said in His Word, "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity" (Colossians 3:14), I had to fight for my marriage and put on all my armor. I had to realize that I had made a vow, and it was up to me to decide how deeply I truly respected and honored those vows, as well as the love I have for God and my husband.
Do I still feel hurt and betrayed at times? Yes!
But in the midst of it all, I try to stay encouraged and remember that the Lord is there and that He makes no mistakes. What the enemy meant for the bad of my marriage and friendship with my husband, God turned around for our good!
The "shoes" I walk—or have walked—in while dealing with infidelity and other issues at different times in my life might not be the "shoes" you would choose to walk in, but you can use those "shoes" to become a living testimony of the things God does for you and wants to do in your life.
Every day, we are tested in some form or fashion as women of God. Let that test become your testimony!
Weapons of the enemy come to steal our joy in almost every situation. Whether you are single, married, divorced, widowed, young, or old, they will come!
Use those cute and classy heels to "step" on all the attacks that come your way. Use that elegant and stylish dress as a piece of armor that allows you to stand faithfully and firmly against any attack that comes your way—against your family, friends, marriage, career, or even yourself.
Just continue to keep the words of Yolanda Adams in your heart:
"Through the pain and all of my sorrows,
through the tears and all my fears,
The Lord was there to keep me,
For He's kept me in the midst of it all!"
