Influence by Example
From Surviving to Healing: A Nurse's Journey to Self-Worth and Authenticity
As my personal life unraveled before and during COVID, my professional life quietly flourished.
Nursing has always given me purpose. For more than two decades, I have had the privilege of caring for people during some of the most vulnerable moments of their lives. Whether at the bedside, in rehabilitation, behavioral health, schools, or now serving veterans in primary care, I have educated patients, advocated for their needs, coordinated care, and encouraged them to prioritize their health.
Ironically, I found it much easier to advocate for others than I did for myself.
Every day, I encouraged patients to speak up, ask questions, set goals, and take an active role in their healthcare. Yet outside of work, I struggled to set boundaries, communicate my own needs, and believe I deserved the same compassion I freely extended to everyone else.
Nursing, therapy, books, and podcasts have taught me that healing is rarely linear. Recovery takes patience, honesty, and support. Somewhere along the way, I realized those same principles applied to my own life.
My weight-loss journey, the end of my engagement, therapy, the gym, and writing It's Just PHAT Baby became their own form of treatment. Together, they challenged me to stop merely surviving and begin healing.
Today, I view health through a broader lens. Wellness is not simply the absence of disease or a number on a scale. It includes emotional health, healthy relationships, self-worth, boundaries, purpose, and the courage to choose yourself.
That perspective has made me not only a better nurse but also a better advocate, author, and educator.
The truth is this:
We must define our own self-worth before someone else defines it for us.
Our titles, our weight, our past, and where we come from do not determine the love, respect, or opportunities we deserve. They should never dictate how brightly we choose to shine.
My last heartbreak became the catalyst. My therapist became the guide. Our book became the mirror. Together, they revealed the difficult truth that I had weak boundaries, but they also revealed the liberating realization that boundaries can be learned, strengthened, and redefined.
I committed to healing not only my body but also my mind, my heart, and my sense of self. The version of me that tolerated disrespect, accepted the bare minimum, and silenced her own voice gradually faded, just as the weight did.
For me, influence is not about perfection or public recognition. It is about authenticity and the willingness to share both the beautiful and the difficult parts of the journey.
It means telling the truth about what it takes to unlearn harmful conditioning, choose yourself even when it hurts, and rebuild a life rooted in self-respect.
It means showing others that healing is possible, growth is lifelong, and that your voice, your experiences, and your worth have always mattered—even if you were taught otherwise.
