Inspiration
How My Mother's Courage Shaped My Path to Independence
This is the story of my mother’s resilience. At just fifteen years old, a severe illness forced doctors to amputate the middle finger of her right hand. Only two years later, her father smuggled her out of Albania and into Kosovo, where she was entered into an arranged marriage with a man she had never met. Denied an education simply because she was a woman, my mother grew up unable to read or write until years later, when I proudly taught her how to sign her own name.
Tragedy and responsibility defined her youth. Having lost her own mother at a young age, she was forced to grow up overnight. When her father and stepmother later passed away, she and her siblings were taken in by a devoted uncle. But the heartbreaks didn’t end there. While living in Kosovo, my mother endured the unimaginable grief of losing six of her seven children. Only my older sister survived. Seeking refuge from their trauma and a chance at a fresh start, my parents eventually left Kosovo for America.
That is where I was born. Growing up with parents who were much older than those of my peers and who never learned English came with heavy responsibilities; I was their translator and guide through a foreign world. Yet, despite being rooted in an old-fashioned culture, my parents raised me to be a leader. While traditional Albanian customs pressured young women to marry early and submit to domestic life, my mother fiercely advocated for my independence. She urged me to pursue higher education, to never rely on a man, and to marry only for love when the time was right.
My parents taught me to ignore the judgment of others, to lead rather than follow, and to move through the world with deep empathy. I am profoundly grateful to them for raising me to be the outspoken, independent woman I am today.