It's Just Phat Baby the Book
From self-preservation to self-love: how choosing yourself transforms everything.
Influence by Example: It's Just PHAT Baby — A Journey Beyond the Scale
By Ria Gibson, Co-Author of It's Just PHAT Baby
I didn't set out to become influential. I set out to survive myself.
For most of my life, I was taught to be the "good girl"—the agreeable, quiet, accommodating, conflict-avoidant one. I learned early that my value came from keeping the peace and not making waves.
I also learned that being overweight meant shrinking myself emotionally to compensate for the space my body occupied. I internalized the belief that my voice, my needs, and my boundaries were optional. That conditioning followed me into adulthood, shaping how I loved, how I tolerated various levels of disrespect, and how I explained away behaviors that deserved confrontation rather than excuses.
By October 2021, I had ended my engagement. I was four to five months post-bariatric surgery and in the middle of editing It's Just PHAT Baby, the book I co-authored with my high school best friend, Dominique.
I didn't know it at the time, but I was standing at the intersection of two transformations—one physical and one internal—and both demanded honesty.
Ending my engagement was not an act of anger; it was an act of self-preservation. For the first time, I chose myself.
Therapy helped me see what I had never been taught: boundaries are not walls; they are definitions. They define what I will allow, what I will not accept, and what I need in order to feel safe and respected.
As Dominique and I revisited the stories from our book during the editing process, I began to see my patterns clearly. Our shared experiences with weight and the scale—the shame, the invisibility, and the feeling that our light had to be dimmed in certain rooms—mirrored the emotional shrinking I had experienced in relationships, not just romantic ones.
We spent years believing we belonged on the sidelines, unseen.
Writing and editing our book forced me to confront that lie.
Truthfully speaking:
The number on the scale does not determine your worth. It does not determine the type of love you deserve.
Dominique and I proudly share our stories because we know someone else is searching for permission to choose themselves, too.
Someone needs to know that boundaries are not selfish. Heartbreak can become a turning point. And self-worth has never been negotiable.
So, if my journey influences anyone, I hope you remember this:
The sidelines are no longer good enough.
Stop waiting to be chosen.
Choose yourself.
