Jealousy: The Emotion I Misunderstood — Until I Saw What It Was Teaching Me
How Jealousy and Imitation Became My Greatest Teachers
Welcome in.
Let’s turn the light green on this conversation, because this one is personal. For years, I experienced jealousy coming toward me — not the other way around. And I didn’t always know what to do with that. I always saw it as “hating.”
People reacted to my success, my ambition, my energy, my presence, the way I connect with others, and the way I walk into a room without needing to fit in or be defined by anyone. I’ve always had a natural ability to just be — fully, unapologetically, authentically. And not everyone knew how to handle that.
For a long time, jealousy from others annoyed me.
It felt unnecessary.
It felt distracting.
It felt like something I shouldn’t have to deal with.
And imitation? That used to irritate me too. People would say, “Imitation is the highest form of flattery,” but it never felt flattering. It felt like someone was trying to wear my skin instead of finding their own.
But then something shifted.
The Moment Everything Changed
One day, I listened to a podcast episode where Mel Robbins was a guest, and she said something that stopped me in my tracks. She talked about jealousy not as a flaw, but as a signal — a blocked desire, a mirror, a directional tool.
And suddenly, everything clicked.
Not just the jealousy I had ever felt…
but the jealousy I had received.
Her perspective made me rethink every moment someone projected envy, copied my moves, questioned my confidence, or reacted to my shine.
It wasn’t about me.
It was about them.
And it was about desire.
Jealousy From Others Is Not an Attack — It’s Information
When people showed jealousy toward me, it wasn’t because I was doing something wrong. It was because I was doing something they wished they had the courage to do.
My success triggered their unspoken desires.
My ambition reminded them of their own stalled dreams.
My energy highlighted where they felt dim.
My ability to connect revealed where they felt disconnected.
My refusal to shrink forced them to confront where they were still playing small.
Jealousy wasn’t a threat.
It was confirmation.
Confirmation that I was walking in something powerful.
Confirmation that my presence was impactful.
Confirmation that my authenticity was disruptive — in the best way.
Imitation Isn’t Theft — It’s Evidence
Mel’s perspective helped me reframe imitation too.
People imitate what inspires them.
They imitate what they admire.
They imitate what they don’t yet know how to embody on their own.
So instead of feeling annoyed, I started seeing imitation as evidence:
• Evidence that my voice carries weight
• Evidence that my leadership is visible
• Evidence that my way of being resonates
• Evidence that I’m modeling something others want to step into
It wasn’t about someone taking from me.
It was about someone trying to find themselves through what they saw in me.
The Reframe That Set Me Free
Jealousy — whether I felt it or received it — wasn’t negative.
It was neutral until I assigned meaning to it.
And once I shifted my perspective, everything changed:
• Jealousy from others revealed what they desired.
• Imitation revealed what I embodied.
• My reactions revealed what I still needed to heal.
• My presence revealed what I was born to do.
Both jealousy and imitation became tools.
Directional. Informational. Clarifying.
They pointed me back to myself.
They reminded me of my power.
They affirmed that I don’t have to try to fit in — I naturally stand out.
Use It As a Guide
So now, when jealousy shows up — from me or toward me — I don’t shrink from it. I study it. I let it speak. I let it teach.
Because jealousy is personal.
It’s revealing.
It’s directional.
And when you understand it, it becomes one of the greatest teachers you’ll ever have.
