Silent Hours of Leadership: Dr. Kavitha Govindasamy
Balancing Multiple Roles: How Leaders Can Thrive Without Guilt
Are You a Leader?
Are you a leader?
Are you an active writer of UN project proposals or a volunteer?
- A community leader?
- A mother?
- A scientist?
- An instructor?
- A yoga and spiritual mentor?
- A golf coach?
- A fitness enthusiast?
Unfortunately—and fortunately—I am all of them.
It is true that I wear many hats simultaneously, often moving from one responsibility to another without pause.
Time Has Become My Most Precious Resource
My days begin before sunrise and end long after most people have gone to sleep. I leave home at 7:00 a.m. and often return around 8:00 p.m.
Time has become my most precious resource. I can afford to lose many things, but I cannot afford to lose time. When my routine is disrupted, I feel guilty.
There is always another proposal to write, another student to mentor, another community initiative to support, and another family responsibility to fulfill. The quiet moments of my day usually begin after midnight.
After 12:00 a.m., the house is silent. Everyone is asleep. Those are the hours when I finally have time to think, create, write, and reflect. Sometimes I spend those late-night hours working on documents that support meaningful causes. Other times, I answer emails, work on creative writing projects, or sit quietly in prayer.
Leadership Can Be Lonely
And in those moments, I sometimes wish someone were simply there—someone to sit beside me while I write.
- Someone to ask, "How was your day?"
- Someone to offer encouragement when a creative project isn't going as planned.
- Someone to join me in a midnight prayer.
Who does that at 12:00 a.m.?
For many leaders, the answer is no one.
The reality is simple, raw, and undeniable: leadership can be rewarding, but it can also be lonely.
Then I Made a Simple Discovery
Get a dog.
It sounds almost too simple, but sometimes unconditional companionship is exactly what we need. Leaders are human beings too. We need connection. We need comfort. We need to feel seen and appreciated.
Feeling loved makes us more empathetic, more compassionate, and ultimately more effective leaders. What appears to be a small thing can have an enormous impact on our emotional well-being and our ability to serve others.
Letting Go of Guilt
My second discovery was learning to let go of guilt. As someone with diverse interests and responsibilities, I have rarely had the luxury of spending hours in the kitchen preparing elaborate meals. Over the years, I have been criticized for that choice by family members and even by my children.
But I learned an important lesson: women should not feel guilty for choosing how they invest their time. I believe my skills and talents are needed in science, education, research, leadership, and community service.
So, I made a practical decision:
Hire a professional kitchen aide when needed.
By doing so, I was not neglecting my responsibilities. I was empowering another woman through employment, helping support her family, and creating opportunities for economic growth.
If you are a leader, you do not have to do everything yourself. Instead, you can make thoughtful decisions that maximize your impact while creating opportunities for others.
Use It Wisely
For women leaders, time is our most valuable currency. It is our true bank balance.
Use it wisely.
Use it strategically.
Use it without guilt.
Because when women lead smarter, they create space not only for their own success but also for the success of many others around them.
