Success Is Built on Knowing When to Listen
Why listening and judgement matter more than visibility in long-term success
When people ask what I attribute my success to, they often expect an answer rooted in strategy, ambition, or technical expertise. Those things matter, but they are not the foundation. The skill that has most consistently shaped my growth, credibility, and effectiveness is far less glamorous: I learned when to listen and when to follow instructions.
Listening is one of the most undervalued professional skills, yet it is also one of the most powerful. It allows you to understand context rather than just content. It helps you grasp expectations before reacting. It teaches you when to ask better questions instead of rushing to provide answers.
Sometimes, the simplest form of respect is following instructions.
That statement is often misunderstood. Following instructions does not mean lacking initiative or independent thought. It signals listening. Accountability. An understanding that not every moment is about leading. Some moments are about supporting the structures that make leadership possible.
This distinction has mattered at every stage of my career.
Listening and following direction are rarely celebrated. They do not show up neatly on résumés, and they are seldom taught explicitly. They are learned through experience, observation, and humility. You learn them by entering new environments and resisting the urge to assert your ideas before understanding the system you are stepping into.
There are moments when thinking outside the box is necessary—innovation depends on it. But there are also moments when you must first understand the box. You need to know why it exists, who built it, what it protects, and where it has already failed. Only then does changing it become meaningful rather than disruptive for disruption’s sake.
Over time, I grew into being a stronger listener. I stopped assuming that knowledge alone equaled readiness. I learned to pause, observe, and understand a role, a framework, or an environment before attempting to reshape it. That approach did not limit my leadership—it strengthened it.
Following instructions, when appropriate, taught me how systems function. Listening taught me how people function within those systems. Together, they sharpened my judgment and built trust with colleagues, leaders, and teams. They allowed me to contribute in ways that were effective rather than performative.
This is a learned skill, not an instinctive one. It requires judgment. Knowing when to follow direction and when to challenge it is not automatic. It develops through experience and reflection. It is rarely taught in books and often overlooked in conversations about success—especially for women, who are encouraged to always prove themselves, push forward, or assert authority.
True influence does not come from constant assertion. It comes from understanding when your voice moves the work forward and when your presence supports the structures that allow others to succeed.
My success has been shaped by learning that balance: listening carefully, following instructions when it mattered, and understanding that leadership is not diminished by respect for process—it is strengthened by it.
