The Best Leaders Make Themselves Less Necessary
Why the strongest leaders stop measuring their value by how much depends on them and start building people, systems, and confidence that can thrive without them.
The Best Leaders Make Themselves Less Necessary
For years, I thought being a good leader meant being the person everyone could count on.
The person with the answer. The person who could fix the problem. The person who remembered the history behind a decision no one else remembered making. The person who stepped in when something needed to get done.
And, if I'm being fair, I became pretty good at it.
But nearly 30 years into my career, I've come to believe something very different:
The real measure of leadership may be how well people can succeed when you're not in the room.
That realization didn't happen overnight.
I started my career at 17 with Simon Property Group in what was supposed to be a six-month marketing position. I certainly wasn't thinking about leadership philosophy or organizational development. I was thinking about doing a good job and taking advantage of whatever opportunity came next.
One opportunity became another. Marketing expanded into visual merchandising, which led to greater responsibility, different markets, operations, property management, and eventually executive leadership and business ownership.
Along the way, I learned how valuable it is to be dependable.
What took me longer to understand was that there can be a downside to becoming too dependable.
When Being Needed Becomes the Bottleneck
Many successful leaders, particularly women I've encountered throughout my career, become very good at carrying things.
We remember the details. We anticipate the problems. We fill the gaps. We answer the questions before anyone else has time to figure them out.
It feels responsible.
It can also feel rewarding to know people need you.
But eventually, you have to ask a difficult question:
Am I helping people succeed, or have I unintentionally taught them that success requires me?
There is an important difference.
If every decision comes through the leader, you've created dependence rather than leadership.
If employees are afraid to make a decision without your approval, they never develop judgment.
If you're the only person who understands why something is done a certain way, you don't have a process. You have institutional knowledge living inside one person's head.
And if you can't step away without everything slowing down, that isn't necessarily evidence of your importance. It may be evidence that something needs to change.
I've had to learn this myself.
Leadership Requires Letting People Struggle a Little
One of the hardest parts of developing people is allowing them enough room to figure things out.
When you've been doing something for decades, you can often see the answer before someone else does. It is incredibly tempting to jump in and give it to them.
It's faster.
But faster isn't always better.
Sometimes the better question is, What do you think we should do?
That simple question changes the dynamic. Instead of teaching someone to come to you for answers, you're teaching them how to develop one.
Will they always make the same decision you would?
No.
Sometimes their solution will be better.
Sometimes they'll make a mistake.
That's part of developing judgment.
Our responsibility as leaders isn't to eliminate every opportunity for someone to fail. It's to create an environment where people can make thoughtful decisions, learn from mistakes, ask for help when they need it, and gradually build confidence in their own abilities.
The goal isn't to create more people who think exactly like us.
It's to create more people who know how to think.
Technology Is Giving Us an Interesting Test
Artificial intelligence has made this leadership conversation even more relevant.
I'm fascinated by AI and its potential for businesses, particularly small- and medium-sized organizations that haven't historically had access to the resources of much larger companies.
But I don't believe the most interesting question is, What can AI replace?
I think the better question is, What can AI give back to people?
Can it give a property manager time back from repetitive administrative work so she can spend more time with an owner or tenant?
Can it help an employee find information without waiting for the one person who has been with the company for 20 years?
Can it capture processes and organizational knowledge so expertise becomes accessible rather than residing with one individual?
Can it help a small business operate with capabilities that once required a much larger staff?
Used well, technology can make people less dependent on gatekeepers.
Including us.
That's where leadership and technology intersect for me.
AI shouldn't make people less valuable. It should help people become more capable.
Your Experience Should Become Someone Else's Shortcut
After nearly three decades in commercial real estate, I've accumulated a lot of knowledge.
But knowledge becomes far more valuable when it stops belonging exclusively to you.
That's one reason mentorship, professional organizations, and community involvement have become increasingly important to me.
When we bring interns into our business, I want them exposed to more than one job. I want them to spend time with property managers, accountants, brokers, marketing professionals, and facilities teams.
Someone may walk in thinking commercial real estate means selling buildings and discover an entirely different career they didn't know existed.
I've watched people bring skills from completely different backgrounds and find a place in our industry. A handyman with strong mechanical instincts can develop into a Facilities Technician. Someone with an accounting background can learn the nuances of commercial property accounting. A residential property manager willing to learn can transition into commercial real estate.
Sometimes leadership is simply helping someone see a possibility they couldn't see for themselves.
Then giving them enough room to grow into it.
From Holding Everything Together to Building Something That Holds
There was a time in my career when being the person who held everything together felt like the goal.
Today, I think differently.
I want to build systems that hold. I want to develop people who trust their own judgment. I want knowledge documented and shared. I want technology to remove unnecessary friction. I want the people around me to understand not only what we do, but why we do it.
And I want to be able to step out of the room without becoming the missing piece.
That doesn't make a leader less valuable.
I think it may be one of the clearest signs that we've done our job well.
Leadership isn't measured by how many decisions require your approval, how many people need your answer, or how difficult you would be to replace.
Eventually, leadership becomes something much bigger than being needed.
It becomes what you've taught. What you've built. Who you've encouraged. What continues working. And what other people now believe they are capable of doing because someone once gave them the opportunity to try.
Your legacy isn't how much depended on you. It's how much became possible because you were there.
