The Elusive Juggler: Managing "Mom" and "Educator"
Finding Balance Between Motherhood and Leadership Through Community and Availability
This year will mark my fifteenth year in education, and throughout that time, I have given birth to five children, earned a master's degree, secured a Supervisor Endorsement, and completed a Principal's Endorsement for the State of New Jersey.
In almost all of my graduate classes, I heard the same comment:
"Wow. So many kids! How do you do it?"
My response is always the same:
Community.
I have an extremely supportive partner who helps with bath times, bedtime stories, potty training, and everything in between. I have a close family that helps with doctor's appointments, gymnastics recitals, and soccer games. However, building this community—and creating the life I dreamed of—required sacrifice.
Reflecting on this concept allowed me to consider what it truly means to be a mother of multiples while also navigating the demands of the workforce.
The Feeling of Guilt
Let's start with the feeling of guilt that every mother experiences while also juggling the responsibilities of the workplace.
When you show up to a student's concert, band performance, or wrestling match, there is often a sacrifice made on the family front. You can become caught in a cycle of guilt because you understand that both relationships are essential to nurturing growth and connection.
Your students need you to show up in their lives outside the classroom just as much as your own children need you to be present in theirs. I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge that educators everywhere carry this same feeling of guilt as they navigate the balance between family life and student relationships.
As an English teacher and leader, this thought encouraged me to define the terms more clearly. I often tell my students that in order to understand a larger concept, we must first define the individual parts.
Here, I identified the tension and perceived imbalance between student and family involvement. Secondly, I needed to define what it means to be effective in both areas.
Being Available
Recently, I read a concept in John C. Maxwell's book, Developing the Leader Within You 2.0, that focused on the importance of being available rather than simply showing up to give orders. I am, of course, using some creative license in my interpretation of the idea, but I highly recommend reading the book if you have not already.
The main concept is simple: in order to be effective, you must be available.
I began thinking about that concept through the lens of being both a mother and an educator, and I realized that availability is needed on every front.
Leadership requires listening. If I want to lead my family well, I need to listen and understand their concerns, experiences, and realities. If I want to lead a school effectively, I must do the same for my staff and students.
Being available does not always require physical presence. In other words, I do not have to be physically there to show up for someone.
Availability can look like a note placed in a lunch box for my children, an encouraging email sent to staff, or a video conference created to provide support.
Being effective means being available. It also means showing up fully when you are physically present. When I walk into a school building, I need to make myself accessible and carry a presence of openness and support.
Build That Community
Once that openness has been established in both motherhood and education, you begin to recognize how and when you can be most effective in each role you hold.
The humanity involved in both roles is what allows you to connect, learn, and grow with the people around you.
These moments are where community is built—the tribe that helps sharpen your skills, encourage your growth, and stand beside you during challenging seasons.
Whether you are a leader, a mother, an educator, or all three, we all need someone in our corner.
So, what have I learned?
Reach out.
Ask questions.
Grow.
Be available.
Most importantly, know that you are not alone.
We are all navigating this journey together.
