The Leadership Lesson I Learned After 45 Years in Business
How My Definition of Leadership Changed Over Time
When I started my first business in 1981, I thought leadership was about having the answers. I was young, ambitious, and determined to succeed. Like many new entrepreneurs, I believed that being a leader meant being strong, decisive, and knowledgeable. I assumed people would follow those who projected confidence and certainty.
Over the years, I discovered something surprising. The longer I stayed in business, the less leadership had to do with having all the answers-and the more it had to do with asking better questions.
This year marks 45 years since I opened the doors to my first business. Looking back, I've had the privilege of building multiple companies, launching organizations, publishing magazines, writing books, serving on boards, leading associations, and working alongside thousands of entrepreneurs and professionals.
I've experienced successes I never imagined. I've also made mistakes I never anticipated. Both taught me valuable lessons.
But perhaps the most important leadership lesson I've learned is this: Leadership isn't about you. It's about the people you serve.
The Early Years: Building a Business
When I opened my floral business, I wore every hat imaginable.
- Salesperson.
- Bookkeeper.
- Designer.
- Customer service representative.
- Delivery coordinator.
- Marketing department.
- Janitor.
If something needed to be done, I did it.
At that stage of my journey, leadership felt very much like responsibility. The success or failure of the business rested squarely on my shoulders. I worked long hours. I worried constantly. I believed that if I just worked hard enough, I could control the outcome.
What I didn't realize at the time was that leadership isn't about doing everything yourself. It's about helping others succeed.
The Myth of the Self-Made Entrepreneur
One of the biggest misconceptions in business is the idea of the self-made success story.
The truth is that none of us succeeds alone. Throughout my career, I've benefited from mentors who shared their wisdom, employees who went above and beyond, clients who trusted me, colleagues who opened doors, and friends who offered encouragement when I needed it most.
I've often joked that if there really were such a thing as a self-made entrepreneur, they'd have to be their own mentor, customer, accountant, cheerleader, technology department, and therapist.
The older I get, the more I appreciate the role relationships have played in every meaningful accomplishment. Leadership isn't a solo journey. It's a collaborative one.
Titles Don't Make Leaders
Over the years, I've served in leadership positions in business organizations, professional associations, chambers of commerce, nonprofit boards, and community groups. Those experiences taught me another important lesson: A title may give someone authority. It doesn't automatically give them influence.
The most respected leaders I've known weren't necessarily the people with the highest titles. They were the people who listened. The people who encouraged others. The people who remained calm during difficult times. The people who made others feel valued.
Their influence came not from their position but from their character.
The Importance of Being Teachable
There was a time when I thought leaders were supposed to know everything. Now I believe one of the most important qualities a leader can possess is curiosity. The world changes. Technology evolves. Industries transform. Customer expectations shift. The leaders who thrive are often those who remain willing to learn.
Over the course of my career, I've witnessed countless changes, but few have arrived as quickly as those we've experienced in recent years. From artificial intelligence to digital communication and shifting workplace dynamics, leaders are being asked to navigate constant change. What I've discovered is that adapting to change is important, but maintaining a learner's mindset is what makes long-term leadership possible.
Either everyone is important, or no one is.
I've tried to live by that principle whether I was speaking with a CEO, a new entrepreneur, a volunteer, a customer, or someone I had just met.
Because leadership isn't demonstrated only in major decisions. It's demonstrated in everyday interactions. How we treat people matters.
"After 45 years in business, one lesson stands above the rest: people may forget your words and even your work, but they rarely forget how you made them feel."
The Shift From Success to Significance
When I was younger, my focus was largely on success-building the business, increasing revenue, achieving goals, and reaching the next milestone. Like many entrepreneurs, I measured progress by growth and accomplishments, and there's certainly nothing wrong with ambition. But somewhere along the journey, my definition of success began to change. I started thinking less about what I was achieving and more about the impact I was making, the people I was helping, and the legacy I was creating along the way.
Today, I think more about significance.
Who am I helping?
What impact am I making?
What legacy am I creating?
How can I use my experience to help others achieve their goals more quickly and avoid some of the mistakes I made?
The answers to those questions matter more to me now than any title, award, or accomplishment.
What Leadership Means to Me Today
After 45 years in business, my definition of leadership has evolved significantly. What once seemed tied to achievement, authority, and responsibility now feels much more human. To me, leadership is about serving others, helping people believe in themselves, and creating an environment where they can grow and succeed. It's about listening with intention, continuing to learn, treating everyone with dignity and respect, and showing up consistently-even when the path forward isn't easy. Ultimately, I've learned that leadership is less about directing people and more about empowering them, leadership is understanding that success becomes more meaningful when it helps someone else succeed too.
A Final Reflection
If I could go back and give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be this:
Focus less on proving yourself and more on serving others.
The businesses, organizations, communities, and relationships that have brought me the greatest joy were never built around me.
They were built around helping others.
And that's the leadership lesson I learned after 45 years in business.
Not that leaders need all the answers.
But that the best leaders never stop learning, never stop serving, and never forget that people will always matter more than profits, titles, or recognition.
Because at the end of the day, leadership isn't measured by how many people work for you.
It's measured by how many people are better because you showed up.
