The Power of Two Little Words: How “Breast Cancer” Redefined My Life
By: Kandise M. Finley, MSN-Ed, RN
Every woman has a moment that changes her forever. A diagnosis, a decision, or a truth too big to ignore. For Kandise Finley, that moment came wrapped in two words that would redefine her family, her faith, and her purpose: breast cancer.
Through loss, love, and healing, her journey reminds us that even in life’s most painful seasons, strength often emerges quietly through the simple choice to keep showing up.
Two little words changed everything: breast cancer.
When my mother was diagnosed in 1997, she was just 37 years old, vibrant, beautiful, and to me, invincible. I was 17, caught between adolescence and adulthood, still trying to make sense of a world that already felt uncertain. My parents’ divorce had left deep cracks in our family and in my relationship with my mother. The years that followed were marked by tension, misunderstanding, and emotional distance. We loved each other, but too often from opposite sides of a wall neither of us knew how to tear down.
Her breast cancer diagnosis added a new layer of fear and confusion to an already fragile bond. At an age when I should have been focused on prom dresses and college applications, I was learning what chemotherapy meant and what it looked like when your mother lost her hair. I remember feeling helpless, angry, and scared, emotions I did not know how to express. So, I did what many teenagers do when faced with pain: I pulled away, burying my own hurt.
Even in that season of disconnect, my mother’s confident courage left a lasting imprint on me. Watching her face illness with grit and determination planted something deep within me, a seed that would eventually grow into my calling to become a nurse. Her strength, even in silence, taught me that resilience does not always roar. Sometimes, it simply refuses to break.
Six years into my career as a registered nurse in the emergency department, cancer came back into our lives, this time with crueler intent. My mother was 48. The cancer had metastasized to her lungs, liver, and lymphatic system. I thought I understood strength. I had seen patients fight for their lives. I had seen families hold onto hope in impossible situations. Nothing could have prepared me for what I knew medically, and what that rediagnosis meant. But as her daughter, I was not ready to accept it.
Oddly enough, her second battle with cancer became the bridge we had both been searching for. The distance created by years of misunderstanding and unhealed wounds began to close as she allowed herself to lean on me, not just as her nurse, but as her daughter. She needed me, and for the first time, I realized how much I needed her too.
The long nights in hospital rooms, the quiet moments of care, the gentle conversations between treatments, those became our second chance. Cancer stripped away the pretense and pride that had once stood between us. It forced us to confront what truly mattered: love, forgiveness, and presence. In the face of something so uncontrollable, we finally found peace in the one thing we could control, showing up for each other.
Professionally, that experience changed me in profound ways. It reminded me that nursing is not just about stabilizing vitals or managing medications. It is about human connection, about seeing the person behind the diagnosis and the story behind the struggle. My mother’s journey deepened my empathy, transforming the way I cared for every patient who came through my doors. Each one became, in some way, a reflection of her.
Breast cancer has been both my greatest heartbreak and my greatest teacher. It forced me to face pain, but it also taught me how to heal. It mended a fractured bond, shaped my purpose, and revealed the kind of strength I might never have discovered otherwise.
Those two little words, breast cancer, once filled me with fear. Today, they remind me of love restored, forgiveness found, and the woman I became because of both.
At Influential Women, we believe that stories like Kandise’s remind us why vulnerability is one of the most powerful forms of courage. Behind every diagnosis is a family, a relationship, and a story of transformation.
To every woman who has walked this journey, whether as a survivor, a caregiver, or a loved one, your story matters. Your strength inspires others to keep showing up, to heal, and to believe that hope always finds a way.
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