The Unmade Bed

There's a certain kind of exhaustion that comes from being the person everyone else relies on. The person who always says yes. The manager who keeps the team together. The executive who deals with every crisis in the background so that no one ever sees the pressure. The woman who has a very demanding career, a family to look after, people to care for at home, and is still trying to have some kind of life for herself.

She looks successful, capable, and put together from the outside. What others may not see is the emotional and mental cost of always being on call, always being expected to perform, and always being expected to have the answer. For many women, this isn't an occasional problem at all. It's become an accepted part of working life. And that should be of concern to every organization.

The Hidden Cost of Being the Dependable One

Throughout my career in executive leadership, HR, and legal ops, I've seen how easily the high performer becomes the 'go-to' solution to a problem. If a post is left vacant, the responsibilities get passed around. If a process fails, the most reliable person is asked to fix it. If a manager needs something done, the person with a track record of getting things done is invariably the one they go to. At first, these extra responsibilities will probably just seem like a bit of recognition. Being trusted is a good thing. Being needed can be very fulfilling. But there is a significant difference between being valued and being overutilized.

Women, in particular, may face expectations to provide emotional support, maintain workplace relationships, mentor colleagues, organize activities, and manage interpersonal conflicts alongside their actual job responsibilities. This invisible labor can consume substantial time and energy without appearing in job descriptions, performance evaluations, or compensation discussions.

Over time, the expectation to consistently exceed expectations can become unsustainable. The problem is not that women lack resilience. It is that resilience is sometimes used as justification for placing increasingly unreasonable demands on those who have demonstrated it.

What the Research Tells Us

Workplace mental health is not simply a matter of individual stress management. It is an organizational concern with measurable consequences. According to the World Health Organization, depression and anxiety contribute to approximately 12 billion lost working days globally each year, representing an estimated $1 trillion in lost productivity. The impact on women in leadership is especially concerning.

The 2025 Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey & Company and LeanIn.Org found that approximately six in ten senior-level women frequently experience burnout, compared with roughly half of men at the same level. These findings challenge the assumption that professional advancement necessarily brings greater satisfaction, stability, or control. For some women, climbing the corporate ladder means gaining responsibility without receiving the corresponding resources, authority, or support necessary to manage it. And when these pressures continue unchecked, the consequences can extend well beyond the workplace.

When Workplace Stress Follows You Home

Mental health challenges rarely remain neatly confined to business hours.

Chronic workplace stress can affect sleep, relationships, concentration, physical health, and the ability to enjoy activities that once brought happiness. Employees may find themselves mentally reviewing conversations long after leaving the office, anticipating tomorrow's problems before today has ended, or feeling guilty for taking time away. For women balancing professional responsibilities with caregiving, parenting, household management, or other personal obligations, the pressure can be particularly intense. Even women without caregiving responsibilities may experience the expectation that they should be endlessly accommodating, emotionally available, and capable of managing everything without complaint.

The result can be a cycle in which professional success is maintained at the expense of personal well-being. One of the most dangerous workplace beliefs is that exhaustion is evidence of dedication. It is not. Working excessive hours, neglecting personal needs, and remaining constantly accessible should not be prerequisites for advancement or professional respect.

An employee should not have to reach a breaking point before an organization recognizes that something needs to change.

The Problem With Praising Resilience Without Providing Support

Resilience is an important professional characteristic. Adaptability, perseverance, and the ability to navigate difficult circumstances are valuable skills. However, resilience should not be confused with an unlimited capacity to absorb stress. Organizations frequently celebrate employees who work through lunch, answer emails during vacations, cover multiple positions, and consistently sacrifice personal time to meet business needs. These individuals are described as dedicated, loyal, and indispensable. But what happens when the indispensable employee needs support? Too often, the organization has become so dependent on that individual's ability to manage everything that there is no contingency plan when they need to step away.

Strong leadership requires recognizing this risk before it becomes a crisis. Cross-training, succession planning, appropriate staffing, realistic workloads, and clear operational procedures are not simply efficiency measures. They are important components of a workplace that supports employee well-being. If an organization cannot function when one employee takes a vacation, the problem is not the employee's absence. It is the organization's operational structure.

Why Women May Hesitate to Speak Up

Despite growing conversations about mental health, many professionals remain reluctant to acknowledge when they are struggling. Women may worry that discussing stress, anxiety, burnout, or personal challenges will cause others to question their leadership abilities or commitment to their careers. In competitive professional environments, admitting that a workload has become unmanageable can feel particularly risky. There may be concerns about being passed over for advancement, losing important responsibilities, or being perceived as less capable than colleagues. These concerns are especially significant when workplace cultures reward constant availability and equate long hours with professional ambition. Yet acknowledging a need for support is not a failure of leadership.

In fact, leaders who understand their limitations, communicate effectively, and establish appropriate boundaries often demonstrate the self-awareness necessary for sustainable success. We must move away from the idea that successful women should be able to manage everything without assistance. They should not have to.

Mental Health Is a Leadership Responsibility

Organizations often respond to employee burnout by encouraging wellness activities, promoting employee assistance programs, or offering educational resources about stress management. These initiatives can be valuable, but they cannot compensate for an unhealthy workplace environment. An employee assistance program will not resolve chronic understaffing. A wellness seminar cannot eliminate unreasonable deadlines. Encouraging employees to practice self-care means little if leadership consistently disregards their personal boundaries. Meaningful change requires examining the organizational conditions contributing to stress.

The U.S. Surgeon General's Framework for Workplace Mental Health and Well-Being identifies essential workplace needs, including protection from harm, connection and community, work-life harmony, meaningful work, and opportunities for growth. These principles should be reflected in everyday leadership decisions. Organizations must evaluate whether workloads are reasonable, whether employees have the resources necessary to succeed, and whether managers are equipped to recognize and address workplace stress.

Leaders should also create environments where employees can communicate concerns without fear of retaliation or professional consequences. This does not mean eliminating accountability or lowering performance expectations. It means recognizing that accountability and employee well-being are not mutually exclusive. Healthy organizations can maintain high standards while treating employees with dignity, fairness, and respect.

What Women Can Do to Protect Their Well-Being

Although employers have a responsibility to address organizational conditions, women can also take meaningful steps to protect their professional and personal well-being. One of the most important is learning to establish boundaries without viewing them as a lack of commitment. Saying no to an unreasonable request does not make someone less capable. Requesting additional resources does not indicate weakness. Taking earned time away from work should not require an apology. Women should also recognize the importance of developing professional relationships, seeking mentorship, and advocating for themselves. Having a trusted network can provide perspective, encouragement, and support when navigating difficult workplace situations.

Equally important is recognizing when stress has moved beyond what can reasonably be managed alone. Seeking assistance from a qualified mental health professional is a proactive step toward protecting one's health. Perhaps most importantly, women must remember that professional achievement is only one measure of a successful life. A career should provide opportunities for growth, financial stability, purpose, and personal fulfillment. It should not require sacrificing every other part of one's identity.

Redefining What Successful Leadership Looks Like

For too long, professional success has been associated with how much responsibility someone can carry, how many hours they work, and how consistently they place organizational needs ahead of their own.

I believe it is time to challenge that definition. Successful leadership should also be measured by the sustainability of the systems we create, the development of the people we lead, and the environments we leave behind. Are employees growing professionally? Do they feel comfortable asking for help? Can they take time away without experiencing guilt or fearing the consequences? Are high-performing employees being supported, or simply rewarded with additional work?

And perhaps most importantly, are we creating workplaces where people can succeed without sacrificing their health?

These are questions every executive, business owner, and organizational leader should be asking. Women have spent generations demonstrating that they are capable of leading organizations, navigating complex challenges, and excelling in demanding professions. We should no longer need to prove our commitment through exhaustion. The next generation of women entering the workforce deserves to see examples of leadership that include ambition, confidence, boundaries, and personal well-being. They deserve to understand that asking for support does not diminish their potential and that protecting their mental health does not make them less dedicated to their careers.

As leaders, we have an opportunity and a responsibility to create that example.

Because the true measure of a successful workplace is not how much it can get from its people, but how well its people can thrive while contributing to its success.

And no woman should have to choose between a successful career and her mental health.