There are two kinds of people who want it all.

Let's get right to it.

The problem: "Wanting it all" is everywhere right now. Most of the time, it comes wrapped in flash: a fast, fancy car, yacht parties, and lots of photos showing it. Millions, mostly so you can say you have millions.

The lesson: There are two kinds of people who want it all... and only one of them needs anyone to see it.

The benefit: Once you know which one you are, you stop spending money to look successful and start building a firm that pays you.

I know both types. I've been the first one. Here's what I learned getting to the second, and what it means for your firm.

1. Know which "all of it" you're chasing

The first type wants it all to show. The second wants it all to feel right.

The first type uses flash as proof. The car proves they made it. The reel proves the business works. And proof has to be bought again month after month after month.

The second type wants a slower life, not a "smaller, safer" one. They may want millions; they may not. What they want is to change something in their industry and their own life, with freedom that looks like them.

Ask yourself three things:

• Who is the money for?
• Would you still want it if nobody could see it?
• Does it feel good, or does it just look good?

2. Go get the flash if you want it. Then pay attention.

I had all of it.

Louis Vuitton was my brand of choice. I sipped champagne on yachts (spending the last hour to the dock throwing up in one... an entirely other story, lol). Fifty-thousand-dollar charity tables. Yup, you read that right. We owned two boats, I changed cars every two years, my last one a Mercedes AMG.

I'd come up from a single mom working two jobs, through Hurricane Wilma and a three-year fight with one of the biggest insurance companies in Florida. I'd worked for every bit of it, and I loved every second.

Then COVID hit, and we realized—I think what we always knew but didn't want to admit—that the flash was a facade.

But I am not here to tell you to skip it. If you want the flash, by all means, go get it.

Experience it, because sometimes it's the only way to find out what you actually need.

3. Watch for the bigger-house mistake

Four years ago, we moved to Colorado for a "boring" life. I didn't know then, but what I really wanted was slow mornings, coffee with the pups, a schedule on my terms, and, oh, sweatpants—lots of sweatpants.

But after two years, we realized we had made one mistake. We went from a 2/2 beach house to a 5/4 mountain house. Three times the size, ten times the stuff, and, as I look around, we don't need a quarter of it.

Law firms do the same thing. Top-line revenue, a bigger office, another associate, a record year to announce on LinkedIn. It all photographs really well. Then the space fills up with overhead you don't need, and you're paying for it all.

I talk to firm owners who have all of that and still can't tell me when their next paycheck lands. They had a good year, and there's nothing in the bank. The associate gets paid on the 15th. The owner gets paid last, if at all.

4. Build the boring firm on purpose

The second type's firm is boring. That's the point.

• The owner's distribution lands on the same date, in the same amount, every month.
• Taxes are set aside before anyone spends a dollar.
• The owner knows the firm's realization rate and lockup days.
• Work gets invoiced. Invoices get chased.
• Someone other than the owner can run intake.

And most importantly, they have freedom. The freedom to spend time with their kids. To take them to school, leave early for gymnastics or soccer, and give back to their communities. To focus on pursuing something for themselves.

They don't need more clients to prove the firm works. They need the money they already earned to reach them.

An important note about your pay: Your paycheck is not a reward for a good year. It's an input. If the plan doesn't pay you first, it's the wrong plan.

Your next step: Decide what "all of it" means to you

Before you add another associate, another office, or another practice area, get clear on what the firm is supposed to give you. What is the vision for your firm and your life? Block one hour this week. No phone, no distractions.

Answer these three questions on paper:

1. What does a normal Tuesday look like three years from now? Where are you, what time do you start, and what are you no longer doing?
2. What does the firm have to pay you to fund that life? One number, on a date. Not a revenue goal. Your pay.
3. What has to come off your desk to get there? List every decision that still runs through you. Circle the ones only you can make.

If question 2 stops you cold, that's your answer. Start with that and let the rest of the vision sit on that.

Then hit reply and tell me two things: which type you are right now and your answer to the Tuesday question.

A boring business. An exciting life. In that order.

Bridgit