VOICES OF A VICTIM & SEX OFFENDER: IS RECONCILIATION OR RESTORATION POSSIBLE?
DID YOU KNOW THAT SEXUAL ABUSE IS AS COMMON AS SHOP LIFTING?
Reconciliation, Restoration, and Breaking the Silence
Sexual abuse is a crime and is often a taboo subject. Many pedophiles are incarcerated for sexually abusing children. Both victims and sex offenders need restoration and soul healing. In order to understand the terms "victim" and "sex offender," it is necessary to define domestic violence.
Sexual abuse is domestic violence. Domestic violence is any abusive behavior used by one person to gain power and control over another. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, spiritual, verbal, visual, or psychological. This includes any behavior that intimidates, manipulates, humiliates, isolates, frightens, terrorizes, coerces, threatens, blames, hurts, injures, or wounds another human being.
I met Bob Van Domelen at a prison conference in Newport Beach, California. He had ordered a copy of my book, Listen to the Cry of the Child. Through our email correspondence, I encouraged him to submit a paper proposal for the conference. He didn't think he would be asked to present his story as a former sex offender, but we were both selected to present our testimonies in the same workshop. It was so overcrowded that there was standing room only.
I began the workshop by asking whether reconciliation and restoration were at all possible. My answer was a resounding YES! This was my first time speaking publicly about what happened to me through incest at the hands of my grandfather, who held me hostage from the age of two to eight and whose abuse affected me for thirty-eight years. Before we gave our testimonies, Bob asked if he could pray for me. This was very humbling because I knew some of his story, and it was the first time we had ever met.
Most sexual abuse takes place right in our homes, our schools, and often in our churches. Children have been violated in the very places where they should have been safest and protected. When sexual abuse is discussed, people tend to think of internet predators, neighborhood pedophiles, or strangers lurking in the park. Ignorance plays a significant role in keeping these secrets hidden. But in order to understand that reconciliation and restoration are indeed possible, my story must be told so that the silence of shame can finally be broken.
