We Were Never Meant to Fit Into One Box
Why the next generation of influential women will be defined not by titles, but by the lives they change
We Were Never Meant to Fit Into One Box
When I was nine years old, the world suddenly became frightening.
Everywhere I looked, there were reports of hospitals running out of supplies, families losing loved ones, and people feeling helpless during the COVID-19 pandemic. I was too young to understand the full scale of what was happening, but I understood one thing: people needed help.
So I started with what I had.
I made a video showing people how to make hand sanitizer at home. Then I turned to the thing that had always helped me process the world: art. I began painting, selling my work, and using the proceeds to support people affected by the pandemic.
That small effort eventually grew into Artventures by Ardra, a youth-led initiative through which I have raised approximately $2,000 and conducted art workshops for children, including neurodiverse students, and older adults.
At nine, I did not call myself an entrepreneur, advocate, or community leader. I was simply a girl trying to make something useful out of something she loved.
That experience taught me my first lesson about influence:
You do not have to wait until you are older, more experienced, or more powerful to create change. You begin with what is already in your hands.
Girls Should Not Have to Choose One Identity
As girls grow older, we are often encouraged to define ourselves by choosing one lane.
Are you artistic or analytical?
Compassionate or ambitious?
A scientist or an advocate?
A leader or a caregiver?
But I have never understood why we must choose.
I am an artist who loves neuroscience. I am a researcher who also dances Bharatanatyam. I can study artificial intelligence and the human brain, compete in business and health-science events, advocate for youth mental health, and still lose track of time while standing in front of a canvas.
These parts of me do not compete with one another. They strengthen one another.
Art has taught me to observe details that other people may overlook. Neuroscience has taught me to ask why people think, feel, and behave as they do. Advocacy has taught me that knowledge means very little if it never reaches the people who need it.
Our greatest contributions often appear where our different interests meet.
I discovered that intersection through my research on women's brain health. My project explored how artificial intelligence and digital biomarkers could potentially identify early cognitive changes in women during menopause.
For generations, women's health concerns have too often been minimized, misunderstood, or treated as secondary. Women have been told that their exhaustion is normal, their pain is exaggerated, their anxiety is simply emotional, or their changing cognition is something they must quietly accept.
I wanted to ask a different question:
What if technology could help us listen more carefully?
My research examined subtle changes in speech, facial expression, eye movement, and cognitive performance. The goal was not to reduce a woman to a set of data points. It was to explore whether data could help validate what women already know about their own bodies.
Technology should never replace human understanding. At its best, it can help us notice what has been ignored.
Influence Is What Happens After the Speech Ends
It is easy to make leadership look impressive online.
We see the award, the conference, the microphone, and the polished photograph. We rarely see the unanswered emails, unsuccessful applications, late nights, nervous rehearsals, or projects that did not work the first time.
I have been fortunate to receive recognition in science, health advocacy, business, robotics, public speaking, athletics, and the arts. I am grateful for every opportunity. But awards are not the part of my work that I remember most.
I remember watching neurodiverse children relax and express themselves through art.
I remember speaking about mental health and realizing that another teenager in the room might finally feel less alone.
I remember helping organize neuroscience education programs that made complicated ideas understandable to young people.
I remember presenting a workshop about heat pumps to our homeowners' association and later learning that two neighboring families had installed them and received available incentives.
That may not sound as glamorous as standing on a stage. But two families changed their behavior. Energy use changed. A conversation became action.
That is influence.
Influence is not how many people applaud while you are speaking. It is what someone chooses to do after listening.
The Woman Who Taught Me What Independence Looks Like
My understanding of an influential woman began at home.
My mother, Durga Iyer, self-funded her education and came to the United States using her own money. She became the foundation of our family, managing major financial and investment decisions while constantly creating opportunities for my brother and me.
She taught me that financial knowledge is not reserved for people who work on Wall Street. For women, it can be the foundation of independence, security, and choice.
She also taught me that strength is not always loud.
Sometimes strength looks like taking a risk when there is no guarantee it will work. Sometimes it is rebuilding in a new country. Sometimes it is managing a family, encouraging a daughter's enormous ideas, and quietly doing the work that makes those ideas possible.
Girls need to see women leading companies, laboratories, hospitals, governments, and movements. But we must also recognize the women whose leadership happens inside homes and communities, often without a title or spotlight.
Their influence is no less powerful.
Make Room at the Table, Then Build a Bigger One
Through youth mental-health advocacy, clinical exposure, neuroscience education, robotics outreach, sustainability work, and community service, I have learned that young people do not lack ideas.
We often lack access.
We need adults who take us seriously before our résumés are impressive. We need mentors who do more than offer encouragement. We need people willing to open the laboratory, invite us into the meeting, explain the process, and let us contribute meaningfully.
When young women are given real responsibility, we do not merely observe. We build.
We organize conferences. We conduct research. We start businesses and service initiatives. We advocate for policy change. We create technology, art, and community programs. We notice problems that established systems have learned to tolerate.
But representation cannot stop at inviting one girl into a room and celebrating her as exceptional.
Real progress means changing the room so she is no longer the exception.
Every woman who reaches a position of influence has an opportunity to hold the door open. Better yet, she can help redesign the building so fewer doors remain locked.
Begin Before You Feel Ready
I am still at the beginning of my story.
I do not have every step planned, and I do not believe influential women are people who always know exactly where they are going. They are people willing to begin before they feel completely ready.
They ask the questions others have stopped asking.
They enter spaces where they may be underestimated.
They connect disciplines that were never supposed to belong together.
They turn private struggles into public solutions.
Most importantly, they do not measure their influence only by recognition. They measure it by the people who feel seen, the opportunities they create for others, and the systems they leave better than they found them.
To every girl who has been told she is too young, too ambitious, too emotional, too different, or interested in too many things: do not make yourself smaller to fit someone else's definition of who you should become.
Your curiosity is not a distraction.
Your compassion is not a weakness.
Your many interests are not evidence that you lack direction.
They may be the exact combination the world is waiting for.
You do not need permission to begin. Start with what is already in your hands.
Then use it to open doors for someone else.
